EssentialNPC

joined 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I care very much. Please read everything I wrote. The system is broken, and we need to fix it. In the meantime, since we must live within the broken system, it is wise to do a thorough cost/benefit analysis before accepting any job. Not everyone can do that, but some can.

We play pretty conservative baseball when it comes to personal finances. We have a smaller house further from the city than my wife's peers at work. We buy cars that meet our needs, but our wants are frequently compromised in search of the lowest total cost of ownership. We make no major purchases without real research first. Our kids have not been to Disney, but they will hopefully be able to go to the college of their choice without a mountain of debt when the time comes.

We are very lucky, but most people that merch our income are not actually in as stable a place as we are. That stability comes from good decisions.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

That is a good point. We are not paying monthly premiums. Again, over the years we have chosen our employers very carefully. To be clear, we are lucky to have been in the place to do so.

That said, we also did very well when I was a public high school teacher. The pay was awful, but the health insurance we had was better than my wife could get at most corporate jobs at the time. We now use my wife's corporate benefits because my family's needs have placed me as a stay-at-home dad for several years. Once she got in with a company that actually values its employees, we made the decision to stick it out.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (6 children)

I live in the US and was born here. This is true of my wife as well.

I hate to say it because I know how bad many people have it here, but our health care experiences have been excellent. IVF? We paid a few grand by the end of everything, but that's it - most of the cost was one hormone in particular. My cancer that almost killed me? We paid $15 co-pays for doctor appointments and physical therapy appointments, nothing for any treatments (radiation, chemo, surgeries, hydration, etc.), and about $15 co-pays for each prescription medication. My upcoming rotator cuff surgery? I'll pay similar to the cancer. Regular in-home therapy services for our children with special needs? Free.

This was not by accident or dumb luck. My wife and I have always chosen jobs in large part based on benefits in general and health insurance in particular. We may not make as much money on paper as job hoppers and those who chase the highest number on their paychecks. Do you know what we do have? No medical debt. Great parental leave. More vacation time than most. A legal plan that paid to set us up with every estate planning and life management document one could need.

So it's hard. Our system is fucking broken - too many people cannot get the care they need, or they go into debt to get it. It needs to be fixed. That said, I also have friends who just made shitty choices. They actively chose direct income over benefits. They gambled and some of them lost.

We need to fix US healthcare in or much every way. In the meantime? My wife and I choose to play the game by the rules as they are currently written, and we play with intent to win.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I send Independence Day and to tell them it is a documentary. Now they know not to fuck with us.

[–] [email protected] 76 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (10 children)

'Democrats have a plan'

She lost me right there. As a Democrat, I feel confident in stating that we have never had such a thing.

It is a truth so old that Will Rogers was cracking jokes about it 100 years ago.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 months ago

Oh, I see your mistake. Those are Samsung fridges. Nothing has a shorter lifespan than a Samsung fridge. Since there are two they will die together to maximize the inconvenience factor, and they thus must be clicked simultaneously. That is the only way a fake Samsung fridge could mimic the frustration caused by a real one.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

Before the election we will be preparing bugout bags for my nuclear family and establishing concrete plans to flee.

After the election, if Trump wins we will monitor and be ready. At the first sign of trouble we get out of dodge. I have the ability to get EU citizenship for my family if need be. In the meantime, my wife and I have skills that can get us the privilege to move into some countries based on their employment needs.

My family and I would have reasons to be targeted by white nationalists if they felt empowered. I have received semi-threatening letters from such people in the past.

I hate that we have to think this way, but we do.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Each kid and wifey could have individual Daddy/hubby attention at the same time. My yard and home would look immaculate because my ADHD task burnout could be overcome by calling in a new helper.

I could probably make bank and help improve the lot of humanity by allowing my duplicates to go through controlled medical and scientific testing.

At some point one of me would figure out how to leverage this ability for the absolute betterment of humankind. That would probably become a driving mission for the collective me at that point.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Daily alcohol: blunts my emotional pain, causes awful feelings in my stomach, does damage to multiple organ systems, is physically addictive, and gives you a hangover the next day.

Daily THC and other cannabinoids consumed via edibles: blunts my emotional pain, blunts my physical pain, has a minor effect on working memory when used over years that does not further inhibit cognitive ability or motivation, is not physically addictive, and has no impact on the next day.

Used to self medicate in vaguely controlled doses, it is a no-brainer. MJ is not perfect by any means, but it is world better than booze for frequent users.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

My children have received autism-specific therapy and learned key NT social skills from it. I am happy to share my understanding of their experience, but I would ask permission first since this question was directed at autistic people and my official role in the family as dad and husband is being "the most neurotypical one."

Edit to add: they have learned skills that help them navigate life, including life in a NT dominant world. I hesitate to label them as NT skills because they are used by my autistic children and maybe the actual skill is approached differently, but that is probably pedantic.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Thank you. I don't have notes handy, but my deadlift was around 360 lbs. for 8-12 when I was last training it directly. A few health-related issues have sidelined my lifting for a couple months (post-cancer life sucks sometimes), but I am cleared to get back into the gym next week!

My legs are where I really shine, with my calculated one rep max for the sled press up in the mid 800s and working sets in the 600s. That is my lift where people stop and look twice.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (4 children)

It does not appear that you are really listening to others to do much as commenting pithy things, and I am not sure if you have some specific reason for this or if you are just picking fights.

But let's still break this down. Literally no one here is talking about celebrating morbid obesity. That is pretty much a straw man at this point.

Morbidly obese people should be able to look in the mirror and think to themselves, "I look good today!" They should be allowed to go out without worry that someone will make fun of them. They should be able to go to the doctor and be heard instead of the doctor assuming every health problem is only caused by obesity.

If you disagree with the above statements, please be very clear as to why. Everybody deserves quality medical care from their physician. Everybody deserves to not hate themselves. Everybody deserves to not be kicked for their appearance.

No one is saying, "Woo-hoo! Try to be so fat it harms your health!" I would suggest you read up on the science of weight loss and why so many little are obese these days. There is not universal consensus, but there is general agreement that the deck is highly stacked against many people, and extra body fat is not a simple condition to deal with in many circumstances.

People should try to lead the healthiest lifestyle they are reasonably able. No one is stating otherwise.

 

How would you go about selecting a Certified Financial Planner?

My wife and I are financially successful adults, but we need guidance with the next steps, including:

  • Private equity co-investment
  • College savings for children with special needs who may or may not attend university
  • Retirement savings beyond the standard 401k and IRA options
  • The tax ramifications of all of the above

My friends are generally not at this level of planning needs, so those who have worked with a CFP have had only much more basic questions. We have known plenty of financial advisers over the years who just give bad advice or canned advice. I expect our needs will become more complex over the next decade.

How do we find a quality CFP who can help with the above? What is a reasonable price to pay for this help?

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts!

 

The Federal Trade Commission narrowly voted Tuesday to ban nearly all noncompetes, employment agreements that typically prevent workers from joining competing businesses or launching ones of their own.

 

We are going to Vegas, and Wifey and I want to wander around like stoned idiots looking at all the pretty lights. You know, like reasonable people.

Is it a big deal to pop a gummy in public in Las Vegas? They make a big deal about no public use, but I'm assuming a gummy won't be a big deal like smoking would be. We do this in other legal places all the time, but I have no idea which activities are and are not clamped down on in Vegas.

While we are at it, can you recommend any fun stoned activities in Las Vegas?

 

Why is it a steak bomb and not a cheesesteak?

  1. It has mushrooms and bell peppers added
  2. I live in New England, not Pennsylvania

This was a great way to use up the last of my leftover prime rib.

 

The prime rib was roasted at 200° F to 123° internal temperature and then reverse seared.

The pommes puree had some of the butter replaced with rendered bacon fat. Then fresh mini mozzarella balls and chives were added.

The carrots are pretty much as described.

My boys declared the potatoes to be the hit of the night, which I get. Dang are they rich!

 

Today I made Berries Belinda - my own adaptation of Heaven on Earth Cake.

It is an angel food cake trifle with sour cream vanilla pudding, pureed strawberry sauce, mixed fresh berries, and Cool Whip. The recipe really needs Cool Whip or a similar whipped topping because whipped cream will not hold up for the 8+ hours this needs for the flavors and textures to marry.

Why is it named Berries Belinda? In return I ask, "Do you know what that's worth?"

 

Yeah, it's a Pillsbury Grands cinnamon roll topped with Ben & Jerry's Churray for Churros ice cream, salted caramel, and whipped cream.

I mean, this stuff is life.

 

This French Onion Mac and cheese is from the New York Times. I used the recipe at the link below with the following changes:

  • Caramelized the onions traditionally, not with their process. Maybe their way works, but I don't trust it. I have never found a shortcut that works for carmelizing onions.
  • Toasted lightly baguette slices before rubbing with garlic.
  • Deglazed the pan with a few glugs of white wine, not 2 Tbsp vinegar.

The dish is exactly as advertised - a supremely decadent macaroni and cheese with a strong caramelized onion flavor. The gruyere is pronounced and only adds to the luxurious taste (and price).

https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1020547-french-onion-macaroni-and-cheese

 

It took longer than I wanted, but my son's room is done! Many thanks to the folks here who shared their thoughts on wall repair and LED strips. This project took longer than I wanted, but every step was done right.

Most people who make geometric mountain walls seem to use boards at 45°, but that would have looked awful with the 36° ceiling slope. Matching the cut angles was much harder this way - lots of math and some jigs on my miter saw - but I like this look more. It feels more like the White Mountains where we vacation as a family

The Pinterest examples my wife sent me for inspiration all out up the boards with construction adhesive. These are put up with 2.5" finishing nails into studs, filled, sanded, and caulked before painting. This feature is permanent, but it can be removed like any trim without tearing down the drywall as well.

I had the notion to hide an LED strip in the upper mountains to create a sunrise effect. The actual lights are much more subtle than it looks in the pictures. I wish I knew how to get better photos of LED setups. Of course he can make the LED strips do rainbow zoomies and other such delightful nonsense because he is 11.

Our goal was to make something that will appeal to him now and as he gets older. I think we hit the nail on the head with that, but we will see in time.

Thank you again to everyone who shared their thoughts as I built this.

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submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

My project is going slowly, but I finished building and painting the feature wall in my son's new bedroom. Now I just need to install and program the LED strip along the top!

My wife got the idea to do a geometric mountain feature wall from Pinterest. I am really happy with this outcome and feel I did a better job than the influencer DIYers who did similar projects that inspired this one. Giving the mountains a 36° slope to match the roof line was a pain in the butt, but the end effect was worth it.

Thanks to everyone here who helps with thoughts on patching wall cracks and LED lighting methods. I'll share photos of the full room once it is complete.

Edit to add: The wall is actually a mildly dark blue-green. Between bad natural light and my phone's camera's limitations, this is the best I can get for now. The mountains are not actually black.

 

I am putting a mountain feature wall in my son's new bedroom.

Starting on the right, I want to run LEDs along the topmost mountains, switch to unlit cord/wire to go around the window, and then run another set of LEDs along the topmost mountain on the left. This should give a nice sunrise effect.

Do you know of an LED kit that can do this?

Thank you!

 

I am renovating my son's bedroom and trying to make the walls as nice as is reasonable before repainting. There are a few cracks like this in the paint. It looks like on top of the drywall there is paint, wallpaper, and then a few more layers of paint. The cracks could be at the seams of the drywall from expansion and contraction. They could be at the seams of the wallpaper. They could be something else. Most of the cracks come straightish down below the sides of windows, which makes me think drywall seams.

I gouged out one crack and filled it with joint compound to see how that works. Since the drywall is old, it was really hard to tell if this is at a drywall seam or not - there are places where previous work, maybe mouse damage, and who knows what else has made the drywall crumble from behind. These are the joys of an older house!

How would you handle this?

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