Fal

I'm planning on signing up for a couple of rec sports leagues on volo. I'm afraid everyone there is going to be like 20 years old though

She does. But it's a little complicated. And that also leads to my question. I talk with a couple people through her, but I don't know how to continue to stay in touch, or how to just talk with them except to plan an activity or something.

That's how I've always felt. I've always been the friend of those people. I've only ever made 1 actual, deep connection with a person. And it's deeeeep. And I couldn't tell you how it happened. But I partly feel like I'm losing that, and I won't ever be able to get it back, or replicate it with someone else.

I think it's just so overwhelming to start from nothing with new people. I have essentially one person in my life who I've spent almost 2 decades with. I've always had trouble with balance. I have a few acquaintances, but I recently realized I need to have a closer relationship with more than 1 person.

I guess that's just not what I'm looking for. I have a couple people I do activities with. But that's not really a connection. I don't know. I guess I'm just depressed, but it's more than just that. I need some kind of lasting and consistent human connection.

I kind of disagree. I have some hobbies and I've done some of those things, but what matters to me is the human connection. So at the end of the day you have your herb garden, who cares? It's just going to die eventually, or you'll eat it, and it regrows. An endless cycle of no one giving a shit.

But having someone to connect with and share an experience with, that's what matters to me.

I mean becoming more than acquaintances. And especially just having people to talk to at random times without pressure of 1 on 1 texting or phone calls. Like just sharing stupid memes and being able to asynchronous chat and get to know people.

I guess what I want is to get close with people and not just be acquaintances. Especially at night

I think it's more just that it's a low stakes way to "hang out" and chat without any commitment or pressure. At least that's how I see the value

What was the common thread from when you met the person? How did you hit it off with them?

So I've been married for 12 years, and we've been together since college, where we met. And my wife's basically the only person I interact with socially. And I think I'm straining my marriage by using her as my crutch. I've kind of relied on her for literally all of my socializing, like tagging along with her and her friends. But I've recently realized that that's not healthy and I need someone to talk and interact with independent of her. But it's really hard.

I'm not talking about random followers. I'm talking about how to keep in touch and get closer to people who you just met. Like sure you exchange numbers, but then what? You might text them to go do an activity. But that's only every so often.

I guess I just don't know how it works, and I see everyone exchanging Instagram posts and in group discords and I don't know how to be included and involved

But I'm really lonely and I think I need friends.

Exactly this. The bandana is key for me. Especially since I have long hair. Even with it pulled back if I don't have a bandana it's just the worst