And my ex

I could see how the whole “witness me!” thing originated more civilly, with the requirement being two unrelated witnesses and a notary on float application paperwork.

I hardly knew ‘em!

I knew that flavor was sus

Why is he dressed like Sub-Zero?

I will add that the whole thing makes me think of this now whenever I see him:

Supraland is the game you want - it fits all your criteria except the most important one: it’s currently Unsupported on SteamDeck. I found reports of people getting it to work but not without some fiddling. It has a sequel, though, which is just as good and which is Verified. The sequel is called Supraland: Six Inches Under.

The first game is an indie gem made mostly by one guy but it is very polished. This sequel was made by a small team. Don’t let the cute graphics throw you - it’s not a kids game. It’s a first-person open world metroidvania (not really a shooter, though there are enemies you’ll be hitting) with gameplay reminiscent of Portal, Zelda, and Metroid. Currently on sale for 40% off ($11.99). About 8-20 hours long.

A reboot? There can be only one.

“Ain’t no law says a president can’t lead a coup.”

You’re goddamn right.

Lemmings don’t actually do that; Disney threw lemmings off a cliff because it made for a more compelling documentary:

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/white-wilderness-lemming-suicide/

While I agree that he’s an idiot, I tend to think his disavowal has more to do with his malignant narcissism: he can’t accept being associated with people who others view as weak, and in his view taking a guilty plea means you’re weak. In his mind, saying he knows her and hired her means admitting he made a bad judgment call, and that’s simply not something he’s capable of admitting (even to himself.)