I regret to inform you that apparently, the Babylon Bee already made this joke

Linjired hamberder

He calls tbe trump supporter a hero lol. $5 says the trump supporter would’ve celebrated if Biden got shot

I doubt anything of this caliber will happen again for a long time

Here’s his year book photo

Isn’t their magazine named after one of the factions from one of the most violent uprisings in European history which led to modern day liberal democracy lol

Joe doesn’t die. He just wanders out of the white house without anyone noticing. He gets lost in the city and somehow travels through 8 states and comically and obliviously survives a series of accidents that otherwise would’ve killed him

Get in the Eva, Hunter, or Beau will have to pilot it again

pan to Beau’s corpse

Biden is playing 7D chess, appearing to be weak and defeated to bait Trump into celebrating early and calling for revenge, thus provoking fear from liberal and undecided voters

What even is the point of shilling for cops if you tell everyone they’re useless lol. Like, just pragmatically speaking, if you actually believed in it, is defunding the police not the more sensible course of action because more tax money saved = more money in your pocket = more money to buy guns. Not to mention, if you screw up and kill an innocent person, the city will not pay for your crimes but you will

There are multiple hotels around the convention center

Trump has no reason to call for unity. In the eyes of his voters, he’d be more presidential if he took retribution