Don't worry about minmaxing or failing. You can't fail in a way that permanently blocks off progression and if you want to you can savescum the non-repeatable checks but they're not necessary.
In my opinion, this type of game is best enjoyed by just picking whatever speaks to you in terms of skills, dialogue choices etc and only using online help when you're really stuck which shouldn't be often if you take your time exploring the world and interacting with the characters.
I don't think you're making the point you think you're making