this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2024
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[–] [email protected] 145 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (8 children)

Imagine living in a world where squirrel you startled would jump out of a bush and electrocute people. Or that flower you tried to pick was actually a pokemon and just sprayed you with sarin gas?

In that world I would empathize with gun nuts. How else will you deal with the 30-50 feral Lechonk that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play?

[–] [email protected] 75 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Uhh, just punch it to death? It's a normal type, it's weak against fighting.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Type barely matters once you're 5 levels apart.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

It might matter a little more in a 30v1 against angry New York commuters.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Eh, Levels bring a linear increase in strength and durability, while an effective attack doubles your damage output. So you'd need twice your opponents level to make up for type disadvantage. Of course, that's assuming you're fighting against a pokemon controlled by a human player. However, wild pokemon can't take full advantage of their type advantage.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 6 months ago

Imagine a world where someone can destroy a building by summoning a near 30ft rock snake inside it.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Don't forget the psychic ones. Any world with abundant telepathy and mind control is pretty much guaranteed to be a dystopia.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Hypno was definitely one of the scariest Gen 1 pokemon.

While it awaits its prey, it polishes its pendulum. If anyone comes by, Hypno will hypnotize them and eat their dreams. It carries away people having good dreams and is even known to have stolen a child at one point.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)

at one point

Weak sauce.

Drifloon:

Stories go that it grabs the hands of small children and drags them away to the afterlife. It dislikes heavy children.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I mean if it feeds on them psychically (eating dreams or fear or w/e) then lighter children would mean it could carry more prey at once, making it less about fatphobia and more about efficiency.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Ik, I was trying (and failing) to make a joke

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Imagine you are just going for a walk on the path near the creek. Then all of a sudden a Hitmonlee jumps out and just kicks you straight in the nuts. Or a 5ft scyther appears and slashes you in half. Or every year a gyarados appears in a random port city and just destroys everything. Lagos last year, Chicago this year, Singapore a decade ago, Rotterdam before that. Pidgeots fly at super sonic speeds and are large enough to prey on a golden retriever.

We would all be absolutely fucked if pokemon were real.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Sounds like the monster hunter universe doesn't it? We'd build knives out of Scyther blades, armor out of Steelixes and have cities/communities wrecked by the occasional boss monster wandering about. And probably domesticate the Pikachu to be palicoes.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

To be fair, monster hunter goes buck fucking wild with calamities though.

"Hey hunter, rumor has it, your next target is either the devil sent to destroy the world, or possibly the mother of all creation. Here's some whetstones!"

"Sup hunter. Got a volcano on our hands. Do us a favor and kill it, would you? Don't forget your lucky cape."

"Oh hey! Hope you don't mind a little wind, cause your next quest is to kill the god of hurricanes! Best to take a quick dip in the sauna before you go."

"Hunter, how's it going? I know this week's been pretty crazy with the rogue fighter jet and the giant mech suit you killed already, but if you could just do me a solid and jump into that ominous pit and kill death itself for me, that'd be very cool of you. The chef made a nice fondue for you before you head out!"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Endbringer Gyrados checks out.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I feel like if that world were the existence, that our daily lives and technology would have advanced with it where we would have Pokemon detecting radar, anti Pokemon shields, etc to protect our cities and such. Now if a shit ton of Pokemon just dumped randomly into this world then yes, that would be a big fuckin problem. Animal Control would become a seven digit job lmfao. Oh god PETA would be insufferable...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Humans have a tendency to make other animals go extinct, so much so that we've already killed hundred thousand of years of evolution. I wouldn't be too worried about the short-term effects on humans.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

In some regions of the world it's illegal to leave home without a gun. For this reason

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

I think Svalbard has some rules in certain areas due to polar bears.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Kanto, just kidding.

I was trying to find the source for where I learned that. I felt like it was a tom scott video but my google-fu is failing me.

I did find this though. https://www.sysselmesteren.no/en/weapon/

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Why sarin specifically