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It would be a living nightmare (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 142 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Imagine living in a world where squirrel you startled would jump out of a bush and electrocute people. Or that flower you tried to pick was actually a pokemon and just sprayed you with sarin gas?

In that world I would empathize with gun nuts. How else will you deal with the 30-50 feral Lechonk that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play?

[-] [email protected] 73 points 1 month ago

Uhh, just punch it to death? It's a normal type, it's weak against fighting.

[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

Type barely matters once you're 5 levels apart.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

It might matter a little more in a 30v1 against angry New York commuters.

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[-] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

Imagine a world where someone can destroy a building by summoning a near 30ft rock snake inside it.

[-] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

Don't forget the psychic ones. Any world with abundant telepathy and mind control is pretty much guaranteed to be a dystopia.

[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

Hypno was definitely one of the scariest Gen 1 pokemon.

While it awaits its prey, it polishes its pendulum. If anyone comes by, Hypno will hypnotize them and eat their dreams. It carries away people having good dreams and is even known to have stolen a child at one point.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

at one point

Weak sauce.

Drifloon:

Stories go that it grabs the hands of small children and drags them away to the afterlife. It dislikes heavy children.

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[-] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

Imagine you are just going for a walk on the path near the creek. Then all of a sudden a Hitmonlee jumps out and just kicks you straight in the nuts. Or a 5ft scyther appears and slashes you in half. Or every year a gyarados appears in a random port city and just destroys everything. Lagos last year, Chicago this year, Singapore a decade ago, Rotterdam before that. Pidgeots fly at super sonic speeds and are large enough to prey on a golden retriever.

We would all be absolutely fucked if pokemon were real.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Sounds like the monster hunter universe doesn't it? We'd build knives out of Scyther blades, armor out of Steelixes and have cities/communities wrecked by the occasional boss monster wandering about. And probably domesticate the Pikachu to be palicoes.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

To be fair, monster hunter goes buck fucking wild with calamities though.

"Hey hunter, rumor has it, your next target is either the devil sent to destroy the world, or possibly the mother of all creation. Here's some whetstones!"

"Sup hunter. Got a volcano on our hands. Do us a favor and kill it, would you? Don't forget your lucky cape."

"Oh hey! Hope you don't mind a little wind, cause your next quest is to kill the god of hurricanes! Best to take a quick dip in the sauna before you go."

"Hunter, how's it going? I know this week's been pretty crazy with the rogue fighter jet and the giant mech suit you killed already, but if you could just do me a solid and jump into that ominous pit and kill death itself for me, that'd be very cool of you. The chef made a nice fondue for you before you head out!"

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Endbringer Gyrados checks out.

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[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Humans have a tendency to make other animals go extinct, so much so that we've already killed hundred thousand of years of evolution. I wouldn't be too worried about the short-term effects on humans.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

In some regions of the world it's illegal to leave home without a gun. For this reason

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[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Why sarin specifically

[-] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago

So...Australia.

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

The beedrills are 12 feet tall in Australia and breathe fire

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Good luck training your red back spider to fight paralysis ticks

[-] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago

In a world where Beedrill exists, I'm bringing fire pokemon absolutely everywhere. Hell, if they make a three foot cockroach pokemon, I'm never leaving the house again.

[-] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

Why’d they make it hot

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

Why did they make it hot

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

So it's an albino cockroach that exudes overwhelming sex pheromones?

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[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Why did they make it hot?

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

why did they make it hot

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Hot did they make it why

[-] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

Snorlax randomly diverts traffic by napping in the worst place possible.

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

Fortunately people have alternatives to driving and walking, because predatory birds (and some insects) grow large enough to carry a human.

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

They're frequently used in protests!

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Imagine somebody unleashing a flock of Wailords in a protest

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Considering the relative size of a pokeball and a Wailord, a Wailord is a bomb. Just take your pokeball inside any building you don't want to exist anymore, and release the Wailord.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

In lore pokemon can supposedly scale their size which is part of how the ball works (forcing them to miniaturize), but I don't recall any show ever showing unlimited resizing

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Just play the poké flute to wake it up. ♫♫♫

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[-] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

"Why do guns exist in Pokémon?"

Pokémon:

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Literally Palworld

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Exactly. Why do you think people like it so much?

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Digimon cannon parity

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Dat beedrillussy doe

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

I am afraid it looks more like an extruding pointy appendage.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Don’t threaten me with a good time!

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

There would absolutely be a fandom around getting fucked, in whichever hole, by those "drillers".

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[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

I used to wish I lived in a world like Pokemon, with endless interesting creatures with crazy abilities

Then, I realized that Earth is that world, except we've just killed off most of the animal life. Even the fireflies... They used to be everywhere in summer, I recently met kids who had never seen one. I found two in the middle of the woods during summer - literally surrounded by miles of forest

We live on a dying paradise, and it's depressing

[-] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago

The coolest thing about Pokemon, to me, was how all those creatures are also completely safe and easy to take care of as pets, and very easily domesticated by a 10 year old.

Like, fuck earth. I want a pet bear that fights for me.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Giant bee with drills on sticks? How lazy.

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[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Beedrill is the only real pokemon in this picture. You ever see a Japanese hornet? Those fuckers are huge!

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this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2024
504 points (98.1% liked)

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