chapotraphouse

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Put on my boots, jumped in my F-150, cooked a rare steak, had a cup of Black Rifle coffee, poured a glass of bourbon... (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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...loaded my $15000 AR-15, bought some Dude Wipes, put on my Blu-ray collection of Clint Eastwood movies, told everyone I came across that I wasn't gay, stifled all emotion, had my wife make a sandwich and raise my kids, told my black neighbor he was "one of the good ones", shared videos of dead Palestinians, put on my "Mission Accomplished" bumper sticker from 2003, turned on my Joe Rogan podcast, clocked out at the racism factory, and drove to the polls here in Whitesville Texas. Brought my wife and kids too. We understood the assignment. We were adulting. We did a democracy. Donald is right behind me isn't he?

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I look like le republican, but really I'm le democrat

SO. F*CKING. EPIC!!!!! THE NARWHAL BACONS AT MIDNIGHT!!!!!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Occupation: Counter-terrorism Interrogation Specialist, B.A in War Crimes, lives on a DHS black site near El Paso

"Good Sir, you just won the internet today. Welcome to the resistance."