this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2024
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chapotraphouse

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...loaded my $15000 AR-15, bought some Dude Wipes, put on my Blu-ray collection of Clint Eastwood movies, told everyone I came across that I wasn't gay, stifled all emotion, had my wife make a sandwich and raise my kids, told my black neighbor he was "one of the good ones", shared videos of dead Palestinians, put on my "Mission Accomplished" bumper sticker from 2003, turned on my Joe Rogan podcast, clocked out at the racism factory, and drove to the polls here in Whitesville Texas. Brought my wife and kids too. We understood the assignment. We were adulting. We did a democracy. Donald is right behind me isn't he?

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

This man sucks, and what I am about to say isn't the point of the post, but I gotta get something off my chest... I like cigars. My cousin smokes them and he's pilled me on them and they taste good and it's one of the few things that actually make me sit down and just be present in the moment. No yapping, no phone, no nothing. It's incredibly pleasant.
I hate how there's a cargo cult around cigars and how they've become a signifier for masculinity and wealth, because they used to be working class and they're a lot of fun to smoke with my girlfriends too. I understand the apprehension towards cigars because all one sees is dudes like that smoking them, but really I would recommend them. They're not super expensive and it's a nice time. They also get you high, which weed does too, but cigars also do it. They're nice, okay? kitty-cri-screm I buy them from a cool little shop where the guy says he gets them from his cousin in Cuba and sometimes he's pissed at his cousin because his cousin just ships random shit instead of the specific things that are ordered and I think it's funny and cool and sometimes I get free cigars because of the cuban cousin and it's good okay?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah Fidel loved ice cream.
Now prostrate yourself and confess your treats! (The prostate is not a valid answer, since you cannot spell it without spelling pro-state)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Fidel loved ice cream

He just like me fr fr (my partner got me a honeycomb flavor that I'm excited to try tonight as a celebratory thing)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

me too.. i even bought the 'churn out the vote' ben & jerrys the other day just to try it out... its not that great, but its still ice cream and i love ice cream

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Honeycomb is so fucking good. How do they do it?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I really, really like bread and any sort of snack that's bread related, to a carbohydrate-chasing level of vice.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I share your feeling. I live right next to a super fancy bakery and I go by every evening around closing time and chat up the people behind the counter. I get so much free and fancy bread. Sourdough bread measured in kilos rather than amounts. Seasonal pastries. It's so good but also a danger to my health.
I share it around with friends, family and those in need. Mainly because I love sharing things and helping others, but also because it would seriously endanger my health otherwise. I recently got three dozen cinnamon buns with caramelized bottoms and some lemon zest on top chefs-kiss I am quite certain the amount of... well everything, bread, butter, sugar, deliciousness, etc could put me in a coma

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I live right next to a super fancy bakery and I go by every evening around closing time and chat up the people behind the counter. I get so much free and fancy bread.

I share it around with friends, family and those in need. Mainly because I love sharing things and helping others, but also because it would seriously endanger my health otherwise.

I did the exact same thing whenever I walked by the homeless encampments from work back to my house; I'd be a mess, maybe even pre-diabetic, if I didn't deliberately share whenever I hit the not-free bakery after getting once again pulled in by volume discounts.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Pictured: Me not telling somebody about the free bread for more than 5 seconds (the vein is bulging because I've ingested several pounds of pastries)

I did the exact same thing whenever I walked by the homeless encampments from work back to my house; I'd be a mess, maybe even pre-diabetic, if I didn't deliberately share whenever I hit the not-free bakery after getting once again pulled in by volume discounts.

Rad!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I really like any and all snacks tbh. Just sit there doin nothing and eatin snacks...yup

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

when i want to get that nicotine high but i also want my mouth and clothes to smell like burnt cat food

maybe i only had shit cigars because the only times i had them were when old dudes gave me cheap cigarillos playing pool.

i like burmese cheroots though, you can get them in yunnan for very cheap and they're smooth and funky

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

maybe i only had shit cigars because the only times i had them were when old dudes gave me cheap cigarillos playing pool.

when i want to get that nicotine high but i also want my mouth and clothes to smell like burnt cat food

Sounds like you did

I used to think the same as you because I'd only gotten bad cigars. Then my cousin gave me some good ones. They were nice. Cost about $ 5-7 a piece and lasted about 40 minutes to an hour.
Or maybe you just don't like the taste shrug-outta-hecks

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I used to get these little cigars made with Madagascar vanilla and cognac or some shit and they were amazing.

Maybe if you wanna partake in the tobac, look into pop smoking. I donno what it is that makes the two different but I've always loved the smell of pipe tobacco.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I smoke pipe too sometimes! I think the big difference is that pipe tobacco is able to be flavored and treated with other processes than most other types of tobacco. I don't know why though.
I had one that was mixed with apples. Felt like I was smoking apple-tea, but not in a sugary vapey way.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's like the tisane of the tobacco world lol.

When I was a small kid, I would go with my dad a lot to cut wood. We would go on the land owned by his godfather who always had a pipe in his teeth. Super old dude in overalls just smoking a pipe and putzing around on a tractor. So whenever I smell it, it sort of punches me in the nostalgia I guess.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

It's such a vibe

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I quit smoking a decade or so ago but damn I miss the occasional front porch cigar and whiskey or beer sessions sometimes. I'm a pale, scrawny dorky ass mother fucker and I always hated the machismo stigma around them.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

I'm a pale, scrawny dorky ass mother fucker and I always hated the machismo stigma around them.

Yeah it sucks! I've shared cigars with a bunch of friends and there's a whole preemptive briefing I have to give about them, because of the macho-wannabe-tough-guy-cult surrounding them.
(I only share with people I know smoke, I would never try to get anyone to start smoking)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

that's pretty much the case with anything one can enjoy.. enjoying the thing is pleasant but the cults that form around the thing are very unpleasant

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Sure, but I feel like cigars are kind of like Rick and Morty. They're associated with truly insufferable people.