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Will I get bullied for not meeting standards here? (hexbear.net)

submitted 11 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

103 comments fedilink hide all child comments

And no, I don't mean, the supposed "Playful Bullying" (that will upset me too, same with being teased), or being even lightly prodded.

The other day, I was questioned on whether I "actually am a leftist", by a friend. After I nervously answered fairly basic questions such as believing in healthcare and collective labor, they weren't convinced. Ever since that day, I felt like I couldn't be a leftist, especially since I lost any confidence in my ability to be "better" according to that person's standards. If I couldn't satisfy their standards that one time, what would be the point of trying to read theory and trying again? Yes I admit, I haven't tried to read theory. I have no confidence that I would do it correctly.

So, I was already completely lacking in confidence in actually being a good enough leftist. But after that incident where I was bullied and picked on, even for a few minutes... Something in me gave up trying to keep up with the people on this website. It also made me fear and lose confidence in trying, for fear that I would encounter other "Secret Tests of Character" like that.

I feel as though in terms of personality, I am too quiet, too shy, and I have too little to say or contribute anyways, to feel at home here. It feels as though speaking the loudest and having lots to say is what matters the most here, and that is something I cannot do.

So, given that everyone insists "read theory", which I haven't been able to, does this mean I am not at the standards I seem to see here?

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 hours ago

People can be pretty harsh. That's not my style. Questioning someone's commitment to their political beliefs doesn't achieve much besides creating enmity.

I prefer to have more open discussions and to invite people to develop from where they are currently to something more advanced by getting them to hash out the contradictions with themselves.

Some people here might come at you a bit strong but it depends on your tone. If you're telling others what to do, what not to do, or what to believe then that's going to attract strong negative reactions. If you tell people "You shouldn't praise Stalin - he was a vicious monster" you're inviting yourself to get roasted. If you approach it from a place if genuine curiosity with openness and honesty, and especially humility, you'll get a much better response e.g. "I guess I've only ever been exposed to people telling me that Stalin was a vicious monster so I'm kinda surprised to see someone say this about him. Can you tell me more about how you came to your understanding of him?"

You don't have to agree. You don't have to know. But if keep your ego in check and show a willingness to be humble and to learn then you'll be fine.