But they're poisonous! You say. And that's true, you absolutely should not eat raw amanitas. But you know what other mushrooms you shouldn't eat raw? All of them! Chitin is indigestible!
"Well, sure, but a raw porcini won't kill me!" That's true, but you know what will? A Morel! (If you're small). At the very least they'll make you as sick as an amanita. And you know what people do with Morels? They eat them! They're a prize edible!
"Okay, but people eat morrells but they don't eat Amanitas" okay. Well, take off your fucking anglocentrism glasses because they've been eating amanitas in India and Japan since before your country even existed.
So listen up, slice and boil your amanitas in gallons of water, and I mean gallons. Strain and rinse. Boil, strain and rinse again. Guess what you've got? A soft, buttery, delicious mushroom. Pour some garlic butter on it, or do it authentic and put it into miso soup as a nice earthy addition.
It's an edible. Change my mind.
I feel like of all the things I've done that have won me eternal enmity this one's going to be the easiest to live with. Hope you get some big vines next season!
Don't worry I ate some beans and got over it. Really I'm just excited for next year it's true. They went crazy this year so next year hopefully even more beans. And corn. And tomatoes.etc