this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2023
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chapotraphouse
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My wife prepared dinner for the whole lot because I had uni until Friday and then little one got sick so I had to take care of him while she did the whole thing basically herself, only for her parents and their partners to criticize today's lazy youth, jerk each other off over how much they let themselves be exploited by their employers and telling each other they did nothing wrong with how they raised kids while criticizing how we do it, all the while my wife is running the show. Absolute travesty I wish she could cut them out, its pure poison. Her sisters just sat there as well either trying to harmonize or relativize the indirect beratement or came out to help, while the boomers were gabbing about whatever trying to get in as many sideswipes in as possible.
I'm going to strongly suggest to her that next year we rethink the whole Christmas thing, because she is the whole reason the family got even together like it did. If she just doesn't organize it won't happen.
Cut them out like a cancerous tumor
Not my decision unfortunately.
I encourage your spouse and all her sisters join hexbear, read your comment, read my comment, then go make the responsible decision to improve their quality of life by making sure they surround themselves with people that add to their lives and not with those that drain it.
Lmao holy fuck, I wouldn't even give it a day, they'd get a text at like 2 in the morning that says "none of you are welcome at any gathering of ours ever again because you acted like assholes good riddance" lmao
Not for nothing, this is very worth considering.
Planning and hosting a big gathering all for the pleasure of miserable people who won’t appreciate it, is not a worthwhile use of energy. I know feeling like she is the glue of the family and that it’s the right thing to do for sake of the family. However, it’s an unfair burden to have on one’s self without any support from the other people involved. Eventually you gotta look out for you and your own.
The royal “you” obviously. Not trying to come off like I’m belittling you or her.
Its so ingrained through the years she doesn't think about it until I point out how no one complimented any effort she made (and those are some deluxe Christmas cookies you'd pay out the nose at the bakery for that she made) and how she and her sisters were looking for any excuse to get out of that room.
Also just out of curiosity, even with your comment I don't see how what you wrote could be read as belittling, could you expand on that I'm afraid I might come off belittling unintentionally.
No worries, I’m glad it didn’t come off negatively.
I deal with a similar feelings when it comes to dealing with my family too, especially my dad. I tend to beat myself up a little bit at the first thought of breaking the pattern, so I know how ingrained it is and how hard it can be to confront, just didn’t want to minimize it.