this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2023
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chapotraphouse
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Not for nothing, this is very worth considering.
Planning and hosting a big gathering all for the pleasure of miserable people who won’t appreciate it, is not a worthwhile use of energy. I know feeling like she is the glue of the family and that it’s the right thing to do for sake of the family. However, it’s an unfair burden to have on one’s self without any support from the other people involved. Eventually you gotta look out for you and your own.
The royal “you” obviously. Not trying to come off like I’m belittling you or her.
Its so ingrained through the years she doesn't think about it until I point out how no one complimented any effort she made (and those are some deluxe Christmas cookies you'd pay out the nose at the bakery for that she made) and how she and her sisters were looking for any excuse to get out of that room.
Also just out of curiosity, even with your comment I don't see how what you wrote could be read as belittling, could you expand on that I'm afraid I might come off belittling unintentionally.
No worries, I’m glad it didn’t come off negatively.
I deal with a similar feelings when it comes to dealing with my family too, especially my dad. I tend to beat myself up a little bit at the first thought of breaking the pattern, so I know how ingrained it is and how hard it can be to confront, just didn’t want to minimize it.