this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

“Not Palestinian” repeatedly stated blissfully unaware his closest living relatives, most genetically similar extant humans, are most likely Palestinians, Lebanese, and some Syrians with some more distantly related folk who took a detour via Europe.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

"No you don't understand, Jesus was a super tall white dude with long hair and a beard! That's how he looks like in all the artwork and depictions at the church!"

We've got the American Jesus everybody, bolstering national faith!

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Jesus was friends with this guy

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Lmao how have I never seen this before.

Could you imagine if another religion became the dominant force in the west? Imagine white depictions of other deities...

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago

this is why depictions of the prophet Muhammad aren't allowed.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Ever since I read about that hideous Touchdown Jesus statue burning down, that's what I picture every time I hear this song. You could literally see him on the interstate. It's too perfect.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

TFW you send a clear sign that your followers are on the wrong path when you strike their statue with lightning, and, instead of changing their carnal ways, they just rebuild the statue.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

PETA offered funding through an "anonymous Christian donor" to help rebuild the statue if allowed to promote veganism at the church.

lmao, PETA is wild but every now and then they do something genuinely cool and funny like this.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

PETA is good and basically everything really bad you've heard that they did was completely made up

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

It was destroyed by a lightning strike and subsequent fire

What the fuck more do you need, guys? God says it sucks

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

It's how he looks on the cereal box so it must be true

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

nah man. Jesus' closest living relative is Blake from Brooklyn settler