chapotraphouse

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2024 Predictions (hexbear.net)

submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Half-Life 3 announced. America collapses before its released in 2031

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Your parents get an unofficial separation but are too poor to actually move out so instead chalk sales go way up as miserable boomers with brains fucked up my extremist gender ideology dived their houses in two. Children kill themselves to avoid serving as the middlemen messenger who have to tell the other parent about which bills haven't been paid.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Switch 2 is announced and disappoints as it only does the bare-minimum people expect a console to do. Live-action Zelda trailer drops and people who think video game movies are good defend it using their mental health as a shield.

A "mysterious" disease colloquially known as super-COVID exists and kills 1-2% of the population. The current vaccinations that are 12.5-25% effective against it and cost $125 will be used to blame the deaths on individuals' financial irresponsibility.

Mel Gibson denounces NATO and I'm forced to stan and watch the Lethal Weapon films again.

Edit: Bruce Willis' children speak into his barely-conscious brain via an earpiece to tell people to vote for Biden in a commercial.