this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2024
43 points (93.9% liked)
Ask Men
1220 readers
1 users here now
A community to ask men questions and discuss any and all issues relating to them.
Unlocking Perspectives, Advice, and Empowerment for Men Everywhere.
Rules
Follow the rules of lemmy.world, which can be found here.
Additionally:
- Be respectful and inclusive.
- No harassment, hate speech, or trolling.
- Engage in constructive discussions.
- Share relevant content.
- Follow guidelines and moderators' instructions.
- Use appropriate language and tone.
- Report violations.
- Foster a continuous learning environment.
Notes
- The title of your post should contain the actual question being asked.
P.S, Would you like to help with moderating AskMen? Send a PM to the top mod.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Most of the people I've met recently have been via university or work. I've tried going to a board game club as well as taking dance lessons, but there don't really seem to be many of people there my age. For context, I'm in my early twenties, living in northern Europe - and not particularly a fan of going to bars, parties or drinking.
Get a hobby and find places nearby where people who have that hobby meet and get together. Prime factor is genuine passion and interest on the hobby. You'll meet tons of people who at least have that same interest than you, which sorts the first step towards friendship. Then as you get to know these people things will sort out by themselves. The second ingredient is to meet regularly and spend time with people.
I mentioned it in my initial reply, but it's important to say that friends aren't generally made during the activity itself. You're going to make friends by helping set up, making sure the space is clean afterwards, etc. During a club meeting or volunteer time, you really only have time to focus on The Thing, not each other. The magic happens in the fifteen minutes before the event
Absolutely this!
My two closest friends were scenarios where I met them outside the activity. Usually walking to the car and noticing something to spark a convo, or someone making a recommendation for a "after-hours social event".
Generalizing a bit here but you seem to dislike one of the bigger social evens that your age demographic enjoys. Maybe give bars a shot? Now I'm not saying you need to go clubbing, but there are many different varieties of bars. Scope out some quieter places that focus on more group activities. Places that will host a trivia night, or are a pool hall or something like that. My only other suggestion would be to focus on activities that are your interests/hobbies. If you don't have any hobbies or interests that in social it might be time to get some new hobbies. Treat it like dating, if you have certain expectations of someone then you need to at least meet those expectations if not exceed them.
You should delete the first half of your response. OP said they don’t like bars, drinking or parties. Your advice should not be “well other people your age do so just do what they do.” They told you they weren’t into it, so listen to them.
And they also said that they are having trouble making friends, especially their age. So nah I'm not going to delete it. That's my advice, if they don't want to take it that's fine, but there 0 reason to be so annoyed by my comment. If you have exhausted your options and nothings working, sometimes you may have to do things you might not want to.