Self Improvement
A community which focusses on improving yourself. This can be in many different ways - from improving physical health or appearance, to improving mental health, creating better habits, overcoming addictions, etc.
While material circumstances beyond our control do govern much of our daily lives, people do have agency and choices to make, whether that is as "simple" as disciplining yourself to not doomscroll, to as complex as recreating yourself to have many different hobbies and habits.
This is not a place where all we do is talk about improving "productivity" (in a workplace context) and similar terms and harmful lifestyles like "grindset". Self-improvement here is intended to make you a generally better and happier person, as well as a better communist, and any other roles you may have in your life.
Rules and guidelines:
- Posts should be about self-improvement. This is obviously a wide category, and can range from advice, to finding resources, to self-posts about needing to improve in a certain area, or how you have improved, and many other things.
- Use content warnings when discussing difficult subjects.
- Do not make medical decisions solely because of a discussion you have had with any person here (e.g. whether to take or not take medications; diagnoses; etc.) as we do not vet people. All medical problems should be discussed with a real-life medical professional.
- Do not post harmful advice here. If this is seen, then please report it and we shall remove it. If you are unsure about whether it's precisely harmful advice or not but feel uneasy about it, please report it anyway.
- Do not insult other users and their lifestyles or their habits (unless they ask, I suppose). This is a place for self-improvement. Critique and discussion about a course of action is encouraged over shit-flinging. Don't talk down to people.
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Can you hypothetically not call me a dipshit for trying to help you
if your advice isn't bootstraps or to simply do the thing that I wouldn't be in here asking about if i could do it
Respectfully, I don't want to argue with you or cause you any grief:
What would you be looking for posting here if you already have concluded that you're screwed?
Illogical faith goes a long way with dealing with/overcoming struggle.
Please don't call anyone here dipshits, assume there are good people here.
I agree they shouldn’t call others dipshits, but generally what I think people need is actionable advice. I understand the desire to help, and it’s always good, we just all have to do serious work digging the bootstraps mentality out of our brain
Agreed, or atleast know when they're not helpful or when to just show support/commiseration. I think there's also some degree of you gotta go and do it (it being non-specific towards anyone, im not talking about anyone specifically) and that's truly tough love that some people will need.
When I complain about my music stuff not going well and someone who doesn't know me tells me to just go do it, i literally am already doing it, that's appropriate time to get mad at that kind of advice. i think also recognizing when you're truly at a dead end is an appropriate time to get mad.
You know what’s funny is that this is kind of true, but I think if it needs to be done repeatedly or for something someone clearly wants to do a lot already, it implies a more fundamental blocking factor which I guess is one of my more important points I’m trying to make.
Fundamental blocking factor, what do you mean?
Like some sort of medical issue or something about the situation which leads someone to be inclined against doing what they want to do . Like if someone blames their laziness for not being able to pay attention all the time, but in reality they just have untreated ADHD
OH gotcha. yes
i dunno maybe somebody has an idea of something to do with permanent burnout after multiple therapists and psychiatric medications failed to treat depression and whatnot. but i haven't seen anything indicating that
yeah dog i'll just willfully delude myself into being a functioning neurotypical person, that's definitely reasonable, effective, and physically possible and not the kind of crap that would get you cal-
sure, fine.
we are not immune to the bootstraps propaganda, and the otherwise goodness of people who typically find their way here does not preclude them from reproducing harmful ableism and impossible or useless "advice"
Willfully deluding yourself is a power tool to have, you can't do anything worthwhile without a degree of illogical faith. That's what faith is, not the religious kind but the human experience kind. It's not a magic bullet that makes your life better, it's a useful tool to have.
If you're so impossibly fucked and you know you're going to shit on any and all response then why post here? To take it out on everyone else? Why is that fair to the rest of us?
It doesn't sound like youre really trying to constructively cope with the worst experience a person could have.
🙄
have you heard of materialism? you should try applying it.
I'm not telling you to base your entire worldview on faith. It's just to have some in your life. The Maoist/Vietnamese/ anyone with a revolutionary spirit had to have some amount of hope that what they were doing to liberate themselves from the imperialists was going to work.
You lack that. It's not hard to get, you can have it too.
revolutionaries had/have reason to hope. they had the support of a population. they had an adversary that could effectively be remedied with incredible violence. I can't murder some capitalists my way out of isolation, burnout, treatment resistant depression, undiagnosed who knows what, and having nothing but slowly dying to look forward to.
personal problems are not at all like societal problems. you're like the rubes who think a nation-state needs to balance its budget like a household.
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck ooooooooofffffffffffffffffffffffffff
Got it, nothing can help you, I'm sorry. Why post here?
protecting other people from bootstraps mentality
, shoe slogans, "tough love", and "the power of positive thinking" bullshit seems necessary and worthwhile
Maybe its helpful to some people, i got a lot of mileage out of some things especially the last one. I remind you that you dont know me or my life
then you got lucky with some incredibly harmful snakeoil. that doesn't make it real and it doesn't make it okay to spread Norman Vincent Peale's bullshit ideology
Some incredible self-victimization here. Giving good advice requires tact, which a lot of people lack. Not all advice is worth listening to.
I just think that hexbear is not a place where you shit thoughtlessly on people like reddit or facebook comment sections. Considering we're all leftists and are #goodpeople, this place should be different to you and if it's not, maybe leave?
Be the bigger person if it's bad advice or alternatively don't ask an internet forum if you're going to be picky.