this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2024
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There's a middle path that's being overlooked in this post. We can flexibly move closer/ draw away as people and relationships change, because people and relationships are always changing.This strategy leaves us in a more powerful position. And some changes in opinion/ politics, in my opinion, don't even need to register. I'm not 100% responsible for my dumbass friends. Maybe like 15% responsible.
I'm not saying NEVER cut anyone out, but defaulting to cutting people out results in a lot of dysfunction. The most abusive friend I ever had would just chop people off and smear their reputations over any level of disagreement, and I was complicit in that. Looking back, it was as if they had 0 doubts or flexibility about their beliefs.
Because I'm very agreeable, I was last to be cut out. Then, they were alone. I had to spend a lot of time unlearning the black and white thinking and bad habits I picked up from them. Thought I would share so you don't make the mistakes I did.
This is true. As I've gotten older I've learned to hide my feelings a bit and just like people less. It's useful for managing life and avoiding hard drama.