this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2024
592 points (99.3% liked)

Not The Onion

12292 readers
1831 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago (3 children)

make it sabers, like real fucking men

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

Yugi, you idiot. We're not dueling with weapons. We are dueling with cards!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

It's listed that the duelers decide on choice of weapons.

My vote is spears.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Also why not allow any two parties to duel?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Dueling is barbaric and can often start blood feuds: a cycle of violence. It's also a bad way to settle a dispute. The person best at shooting others has no correlation to how well their position was or whether the fault or insult should stand. Also killing for an insult is juvenile. There's lots of other real reasons history outlawed it, as well.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Sure, but I bet it'd make the system more entertaining.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

One step closer to "Ow My Balls"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

We already have the Jackass movies and show, so I'm afraid we're already deeper into idiocracy than you realize.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

I think a refereed cage match is a good compromise

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

By the end of dueling, people weren't even shooting at each other. It's braver to be shot at and the point of dueling is to appear brave. They would fire into the air as if they were saying "I'm so brave I'm not going to shoot at you". It was dumb, so we stopped the charade.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

It was dumb, so we stopped the charade.

No one seems to be doing that anymore...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That’s why the modern version should be smacking each other with giant dildos.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

The duelers get to pick their weapons. Nothing in the rules says you can't fight to the death with dildos.