Self Improvement
A community which focusses on improving yourself. This can be in many different ways - from improving physical health or appearance, to improving mental health, creating better habits, overcoming addictions, etc.
While material circumstances beyond our control do govern much of our daily lives, people do have agency and choices to make, whether that is as "simple" as disciplining yourself to not doomscroll, to as complex as recreating yourself to have many different hobbies and habits.
This is not a place where all we do is talk about improving "productivity" (in a workplace context) and similar terms and harmful lifestyles like "grindset". Self-improvement here is intended to make you a generally better and happier person, as well as a better communist, and any other roles you may have in your life.
Rules and guidelines:
- Posts should be about self-improvement. This is obviously a wide category, and can range from advice, to finding resources, to self-posts about needing to improve in a certain area, or how you have improved, and many other things.
- Use content warnings when discussing difficult subjects.
- Do not make medical decisions solely because of a discussion you have had with any person here (e.g. whether to take or not take medications; diagnoses; etc.) as we do not vet people. All medical problems should be discussed with a real-life medical professional.
- Do not post harmful advice here. If this is seen, then please report it and we shall remove it. If you are unsure about whether it's precisely harmful advice or not but feel uneasy about it, please report it anyway.
- Do not insult other users and their lifestyles or their habits (unless they ask, I suppose). This is a place for self-improvement. Critique and discussion about a course of action is encouraged over shit-flinging. Don't talk down to people.
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All the times I've successfully quit things - opiates were the hardest, but this worked for cigarettes and weed too - I quit before I used up whatever stash I had, and you're right, just knowing that I had that little thing tucked away made it so I didn't feel like I had an excuse to go get some just in case and then dip into that stash because why not. I just kept it there for "an emergency," and then kept telling myself that everything that happened didn't quite rate "emergency," so then I had to figure something else out, and then eventually I just didn't even really consider the stash anymore.
So maybe this method could work for you too? ❤️ I know you're struggling and needing a change, and I hope you find it.
I firmly believe that if I’m gonna quit, I need to have the willpower to be around it. I basically every time just decide I’m gonna quit when I run out of dope, and then my neurotransmitters bottom out, I start freaking out, and then I’m right back where I started, waiting for my dealer to break into his own trailer because he locked himself out and built too many security features to keep “them” out.
Especially because all my friends, including not only my future boywife but also the person who will be officiating our wedding (my dealer) do drugs.
Boy am I insane yeehaw.
100%
It doesn't matter how much you structure your life around sobriety — if you still need it every time you see it, it's just a matter of time.
It's much easier in the beginning to not be around other people using, it's a lot easier to not choose that when you're not seeing others constantly choosing it, but it's impossible to avoid forever.
I know you feel insane, but from what I've read of your posts, you seem to be continually making discoveries about yourself and using them to build pieces of a path towards a future you're hopeful about. There's nothing crazy about that 🤗
Right now though I’m having kind of a really bad negative thought loop. How I lost my friend because I’m mentally ill, lonely, autistic, and unbelievably lacking in social skills; the piece or shit who narc’d on me to my friend, about how I flipped shit on him because (and this part was left out of course) he said they lead dudes on for attention, he gets to see them, because he isn’t annoying, and because he has social skills. And nothing I say or do will change anything. I need to “move on.” I can’t even find this dude and jump him because I’ve been extremely weak literally from the day I was born (congenital hypotonia) and uhh I don’t know what he looks like since it was the middle of the night when this happened. So I just have to suck it up and deal with it. Move on. Make other friends. I feel like I’m fucking insane but the pain I feel when I think that they’re gone forever is fucking real. That doesn’t fucking matter though, of course. It literally makes me want to kill myself.
But at the sam time, I hold onto this hope that they’ll talk to me again one day when I’ve gotten better. They would be happy to see that happen; they’re used to people being fucked off disappointments.