chapotraphouse

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Just discovered my wife's unconscious body slumped over a pile of candles and reeking of vanilla with sub-notes of cardamom and lavender. (hexbear.net)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

9 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I could have stopped this but all of you made fun of me and now my wife might be dead. I can't tell if the smelling salts aren't working because she's dead or if she's acquired scent-tolerance from huffing too much candle.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago

Me, with a coconut rice pudding candle burning an inch away from my face: SLAG OFF MATE, SHE'S RIDING THE WICK

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

She's incense blazed bro let her enjoy the high.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

Do not candlelight me right now.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

911 just put me on call waiting after I mentioned my name and address.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

Still on call waiting. It's been like 7 Grind songs. After the 10th one I'm hanging up and calling again.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

K, now I'm also getting a subtle hint of dragonfruit from her.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

VAXXED?????

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

She's waxed, yes. Waxed on candle.