this post was submitted on 09 May 2024
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

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[–] [email protected] 119 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I thought it was a joke, and then saw the actual post on LinkedIn this morning. That place is something else.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's enough to make satirists give up. When reality is already this absurd, what do you do?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

You start bending absurdity. The next article should be about what B2B sales taught him about the benefits of open marriages, and how all paths lead to polyamory. The follow up article is about how bigamy is not unlike merger and acquisitions, and you need great communication to make it all work. You can simplify the process by signing up for alpha release of his AI app (wrapper around chatGPT).

[–] [email protected] 51 points 3 months ago (4 children)

That picture is wild because i am sure no one actually goes to the beach dressed like that. It just screams planned out specifically for the photo.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 months ago

I'm with you on that.

Him: "Let's go for a walk on the beach."

Her: "Sounds romantic...but why is there a photographer following us?"

Him: "LinkedIn business to business engagement stuff."

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

Nobody goes to the beach in Capri's, light shirt or a sundress? You need to get out more of go to a beach that's not a spring break attraction.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Some people recreate moments for photos.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Imagine giving a shit about that.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

Welcome to the world of wedding photography.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 3 months ago (2 children)

These posts come from people who have heard about the importance of networking, but don't understand what that actually means at all.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 months ago

LinkedIn is Facebook for people who want to return the office.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

Gotta get on board with the tcp/ip stack....oh not that kind of networking

[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

The way most people react to seeing big spiders in their home (a mixture of aggression and fear) is the same way I react to LinkeIn.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Big spiders are useful though.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm not a fan of spiders, but I'm a fan of their work.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

You could run a spider corporation, exploiting all the little spider workers!

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Jack Dorsey is basically Linked In, personified.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

With a white supremacist beard.

Lol I think he got canned from Bluesky.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Given all the talk that he wasn't very involved, I wouldn't be surprised. He always seemed more interested in nostr

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 months ago (1 children)

What the hell, OP? Don't ommit what it taught the guy about B2B sales!

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

$10 says it's about "building relationships".

More specifically, how to manipulate people into saying yes.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago

Ferengi ass mfers

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

My sales director once told me sales starts with a 'No'. If the customer doesn't need any convincing then what is it exactly that we're paying you for?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Is that why I keep getting marriage proposals from weird email handles in my junkmail folder?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Is this the definition of a troglodyte?

I dunno that word just popped into my head for some reason

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

My man is on his hustle and grind. He just bagged his first trophy wife, he's looking to hit at networth of $1M by the end of the year (minus $950k in debt), and he's starting his fourteenth business before he's even turned 40.

He is the modern incarnation of a Classic Greek Legend, and you can too if you buy his protein powder, subscribe to his substack, and work for his MLM.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Are we positive this isn't a joke?