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submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

As it stands now, this community serves mostly as a way to get money. That isn't a bad thing, but cash is not a 1-size-fits-all solution to every problem. Taking care of a persons needs is always priority #1, but at times, said person is unfit to handle money in a way that reliably alleviates those needs. Traditional, local, mutual-aid networks can usually address this in the form of community pot lucks, clothing exchange, etc. Here we are more or less limited to advice and more money.

Making a rule about unsolicited advice and being critical of users, limits us to just money as a tool to solve problems. Sometimes people need a tough conversation to grow as a person, sometimes people need to be reminded of the situation they are in. Yes, the capitalist system is oppressive. Yes, there are systemic issues that prevent us all from succeeding. That doesn't mean there is no situation where decision making is a factor. Sometimes, you do actually need help making better choices. This isn't to shame people for making bad decisions, sometimes there are psychiatric reasons, sometimes they genuinely don't know any better, but you still should speak up so they can potentially correct the problem and learn.

This rule effectively creates a hug-box where we all pretend that personal responsibility doesn't exist, that there is simply nothing to be done. It's incredibly infantile, it's a cope, and the people in this community deserve better than that.

EDIT: I feel I may have had a change of heart after reading the comments left by @EelBolshevikism If you are looking for a somewhat comprehensive response, those comments are likely a good starting point.

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[-] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

"excuse me, but I was looking to donate to a homeless who was good with money. skill issue."

[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

"you are fiscally irresponsible, therefore you deserve to starve" death-to-the-poor

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[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Thank you for being more articulate about something that was stuck in my craw than I could be.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Is it lib of me, that when I find someone deprived of what they need to survive, I'm more inclined to try and find local resources that could be more sustainable? If I hear someone is starving, money is nice but how about knowledge of a place where you can get a free lunch and dinner every day? Or even a free weekly food box? Shelters generally suck, but I feel compelled to at least be like "check out these ones if you haven't, they're a little better."

It's the social worker in me. Some folks just need a couple bucks to pay some intractible cost like rent or medicine, but if someone is dealing with structural poverty, they probably need structural supports yeah?

I worry that it would come off as condescending to be like "hey I'm not gonna give you any money, but Sisters is open for lunch rn and Sunshine has open food box sign ups. Do you need any help signing up for Medicaid and food stamps?"

Should I self crit about this?

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

It's a common conservative trope to bring up people who will abuse any form of social aid. They focus on how some undeserving lazy people will "hack" the system of that aid, driving attention from the benefit of that aid even if some do actually abuse it. Being critical in the posts would not shame the people who do that, it might drive away people who actually need aid. Speaking from a personal experience, I only ask for help after I beat myself up enough and it's not the time for me listen to a lecture. I've never asked for money online like this and finding this community actually surprises me and gives me hope. I once summoned d enough courage to ask a friend for help, not much money, just a loan to buy enough food. They ended up lecturing me about things I already know. What's worse is that they live in Europe and I am in a "third world country" suffering from health issues that make it hard for me to work consistently. I was already so depressed but the lecturing made it much worse and confirmed all the blame I blame msyelf all the time. This made me not ask for anything anymore, and I saw that the world is so dark that even a few bucks to save your life wouldn't be given by a friend. I am of course open to improve in any way but not when I am feeling so down and need to find food. I am much better now and can manage food and rent and necessities. But I still get a bad feeling from that lecture. It's the feeling that if things go wrong for me I might just die because no one cares.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Id care, comrade. I'm sorry a "friend" kicked you when you were down meow-hug

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

The only times I've seen this it's just been people shitting on the askers for things like addiction and criticizing how they spend their money. I don't think we need to make space for that. Even if people are making "poor" (in a vacuum) financial decisions, some rando on the internet unsolicitedly giving them advice isn't going to help

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this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2024
69 points (100.0% liked)

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