this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 74 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Let's not forget the first human trial of the chip is already failing...

https://arstechnica.com/science/2024/05/elon-musks-neuralink-reports-trouble-with-first-human-brain-chip/

Let's also not forget all the dead test animals...

https://globalnews.ca/news/9328626/elon-musk-neuralink-animal-deaths-federal-probe/

The only chips I want in my head are potato chips in my mouth, screw Neuralink!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Let's also not forget all the dead test animals

Heaps of them?

1000000796

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Other people and companies have built working deep brain stimulators. Like trucks, it seems to be beyond elon musk.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

The first chip works better now than the day it was impanted. It's not exactly that it's "failing", some of the threads got pulled out because it turns out human brain moves inside the skull more than they anticipated. However they've managed to make up for that with optimization so the performance today is better than it has ever been.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Your thorny insight is not making me any more comfortable with the idea. But hey, you do you..

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

My intention is to not make you feel more comfortable. I'm only providing more up-to-date info on what you just said.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Once you have your brain chip, you will finally understand that Elon Musk is the greatest genius of all time.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

But when you try to explain this newfound knowledge to somebody else, all that comes out of your mouth is telling them to buy a brain chip.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Elon keeps picking companies that give big government grants. Space, electric vehicles, medical, infrastructure. Twitter is like the only company I don't see getting direct government handouts.

He made his money from duping the people who give out our tax dollars.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

Twitter is just the same thing Billionaires always do, get a social media platform or news company under their control to try and make them look good.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Yeah, people have said that they thought I'd love the idea of a brain implanted computer so I could do cool hacker shit or VR.

Like, noooooo that'd be like the Matrix run by the upper management suites of Boeing and Microsoft.

"Yeah we're sorry hackers broke in and stole all your childhood memories but we couldn't apply any security updates because the QA team had to be fired after the last one left them all barking like dogs and pissing on trees, . Don't worry, we'll fix it in BrainOS 9.8. You'll need to pay for that updated but we're now offering a choice between our premium $1500/mo subscription model or new ads-in-your-dreams model for $600/mo"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

BrainOS open source drivers for linux when?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Never, and we're going under so we're locking everything down and closing up shop, woops.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (7 children)

I have no qualms getting a brain chip implanted that's been properly tested and vetted, especially if it enables me to do cool stuff.

But I want fucking touch one that Mushk has been anywhere near

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Anyone dumb enough to get one deserves what happens

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Hahaha they are gonna offer poor people money to basically donate their brain and quite potentially their life. Hahaha

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

(They will then reneg on the contract)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Offer money? Who needs to do that when they have the American prison system?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Prison system? who needs that when you have millions of fanboys willing to pay for the privilege of trying the latest Musk genius-tech-definitely-not-hare-brained-bullshit™

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Shades of "Pantheon" and forcible, destructive brain scans...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

If it offers more freedom than the alternative, I'd sign up. I'm thinking of massive physical and mental disabilities here.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

20 years ago I would have been hyped that this was a possibility. Now... Not so much

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Was thinking the same thing lately.

About tech in general.

I used to be a disciple, imagining the beautiful future, spreading the hope of a better world.

Now, I kinda think old man Kaczynski was a prophet.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

He went about it all wrong but he definitely had a couple observations that weren't 100% incorrect. He was Harvard educated after all.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

I'm still excited that it's a possibility, but I don't trust Musk with it. It's one step closer to me becoming a brain in a jar.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago

Ok, my turn:

I want to be able to retire before I’m 70 and have some semblance of a “good” retirement.

Oh this is fun. Who’s next?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

seems right on brand.

he also wants millions of people to buy his terrible cars.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Can I start a conspiracy theory? The reason he wants this, is he earnestly believes in the collapse of civilisation and he wants to use this as a back up plan to ensure he has a source of compliant slaves

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's an interesting idea.

Billionaire preppers are already exploring the question:

"How do I maintain authority over my security force after 'the event'?" one of the men asked

Article I got that from

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or he’s hoping to cheat death by merging the chips with starlink, creating a hivemind.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

How about implanting the sun with Elon Skum?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Takes too much energy to shoot anything into the sun. Mars is easier and there is no coming back either. Or submarines to the grave of the titanic. That is even more economic.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

Kanye West showed up to a Trump rally somewhere in California recently in a Cyber truck. It was like a jambalaya of stupid people.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Hallucinating advertisements doesn't sound fun to me.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

he should lead by example.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

At a certain time in my life, I wrote to Tesla HR to thank them for not hiring me.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Didn’t it already fuck up in the first human guinea pig? Not to mention all the dead monkeys.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

if past me ever heard a billionaire say this, he'd probably believe it was an onion article, because it sounds too out there and complete bullshit, but now less so since I've actually heard of the technology.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

If Elmo himself is getting a commercial version of this implant, maybe I would consider getting it if I wasn't repulsed by the concept itself

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

I have the same feeling as I drive a car with a Nissan CVT.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Not even in my corpse

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

The best way to read this screenshot is to keep the actual headline below the window and try to guess which thing it's referring to.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

...or the headline above it about a company changing its TOS and subscription model for a hardware product locked down by software.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

He wants to do a lot of things. Poor Elon.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I was always soooo very hopeful and excited about a future where we're linked to our computers and the internet through chips in our brains. I did not realize back then just how poorly the future would turn out, where companies like Facebook and Elongated Muskrat would be the ones pushing that link. They'll likely spy on your thoughts, push ads straight to your brain, and require a subscription. If you forget to pay your subscription then you wake up blind or paralyzed until your subscription is reactivated. What a sad future we've found ourselves in. All of the dystopia, none of the toys.

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