this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2024
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I'd be gay for Moleman.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

John Frink. Think OF ALL the wacky INVENTIONS he will be mAKIng.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

The hamburger earmuffs alone will make us billionaires

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Wait, isn't Dr. Frink married?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sea captain. He likes sunsets, what more could I want?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

Sea captain is also a successful small business owner:

Ambition and stable income are important in a relationship. While Comic Book guy also has a small business and likely stable income, the blatant misogyny would likely be a turnoff for most women.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)

If Moleman is taken, have to go for my man Stu. I didn't live through the Disco era but they couldn't be that bad, right?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I too welcome our Moleman overlords.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I do enjoy Disco Stu's taste in music and lack of advertising.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

He is also unafraid to be himself, that is compelling.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The professor or Otto. Neither is coming home with me afterward, but I'm imagining a bizarrely fascinating conversation over dinner with the professor, and getting blazed with Otto doesn't sound too bad either.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I hear Otto has mustard.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Otto is chill and has good weed

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

And he likes to get blotto!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sea Captain knows how to get a girl wet.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He also has plenty of sea men.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Thar ~~s~~he blows

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Barney, he has a fantastic singing voice and flys a helicopter.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'd definitely go for Sober Barney. Drunk Barney is too much a babysitting job

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

There's going to be a planet for the French, a planet for the Chinese, and we'll all be happier.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The comic book guy is actually a genius, and rich.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

And will die soon!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not rich enough for me to put up with his pedantry.

Plus he'd keep asking me to cosplay Jojo characters for him and I don't have those kind of ratios.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I was thinking that his banter is probably very appealing to a lot of people on this website.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Only until he turns it on you, which he will, before the salad is even finished.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Doin Otto dirty.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Comic book guy

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'd go for Kirk.

He might not have the most interesting personality, but he seems like a sweet guy, who can enjoy the little things and who will also join you for the occasional adventure.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

He also sleeps in a racecar bed, which is pretty neat.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

The man who sent the number one cracker factory in town into a tie for sixth with Tabletime and Allied Biscuit? No thanks.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Disco Stu seems like a fun time!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

uBlock Origin user here so I gotta go with Disco Stu.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Moe Sizlak.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago