this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2024
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The schedule of bloviation, hype pitches, and vague promises at this year's upcoming CitizenCON, the place where aging gamedads pay to pray for Star Citizen. ANSWER THE CALL (i.redd.it)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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There's often exclusive sales at CitizenCON kelly so those same 50something divorced bleach demons are paying money to pay more money.

Also, regular reminder that Chris Roberts, head grifter of this project and ego-inserter of himself in his own fucking game as its savior of humanity ( https://starcitizen.tools/Chris_Roberts_(lore) ) promised some years back that you'd never see him on a yacht because he'd work so hard to make Store Citizen launch in 2014. I mean 2016. I mean 2018. I mean 2020. I mean 2022. I mean 2024. I mean 2026...

Maybe in some ways he is the E~L~O~N of Roman LARPing fascist space fantasy!

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

https://starcitizen.tools/Chris_Roberts_(lore)

I just noticed it says "starcitizen.tools" then says Chris Roberts.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

God, this 1998-spaceship-flight-sim ass poster design i-cant I would really appreciate the nostalgia for that kind of zero-budget "labor of love by scifi nerds" aesthetic if it weren't attached to one of the most expensive media projects in all of human history

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

I appreciated that in 2012 when the Kickstarter campaign launched. It's kind of lost its luster after 12 years of next to nothing, even if it wasn't obviously a grift.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

1998 is roughly the last time those tedious pale aging gamedads really absorbed a new game, so it checks out.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

From the comments here: https://old.reddit.com/r/starcitizen_refunds/comments/1g0mq5h/citcon_panels_multiple_new_star_systems_beyond/

high-level overview of our intentions

AKA roadmap to a roadmap. Also, no dates.

It's a display of the spirit of a concept of a high-level overview of their intentions for a tier 0-like prototype.

lenin-dont-laugh

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

sorry, I laughed

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

A Reddit link was detected in your comment. Here are links to the same location on alternative frontends that protect your privacy.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

God I remember when this grift was first announced, I thought it sounded super cool, basically Eve Online but as an actual playable game

So glad I was a literal child and had no money and also have never once donated to a kickstarter

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

basically Eve Online but as an actual playable game

That's just Nexus: Jupiter Incident, a game which lack of any sequel or even comparable game is a crime

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I imagine the atmosphere of 2954 to be rather rank. Not sure I'd pay for an extra ticket to enter it

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Imagine flashbang but aged up a few decades.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The year is 2076. I am living in my Mars colony that was promised and finally delivered by Mars Jesus' brain that is suspended in a jar of saline and merely firing off electrical charges that are just infered at this point to be yeses or noes. I assume this was similar to when Mars Jesus was still alive, but I digress. I could be out kicking Mars rocks but I'm stuck inside my plastic Mars pod due to another software update for my Pod-doorX. But thankfully I have entertainment in the form of a primitive PC game called Star Citizen, because of Chris "Spacegame Daddy" Roberts' bold and ambitious project his company started back when my grandchild were struggling to get by by balancing school work and cleaning slaughterhouse floors during the Poverty Wars. Never mind that the game costed $170 billion to make. It was worth it. I boot up my Windows 12 machine since the game doesn't run on modern computers. I give a quick thanks for the script kiddie that was able to score a copy of such an old, outdated OS. I give a gentle nod at my now deseased grandchild who lived on cheese sandwiches and ramen to make this dream come true. The old computer rumbles to life and I boot up the game and play. It is mediocre. I go back to play Grand Theft Auto 6 on my ComputerX.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Captains of Industry

omori-furious

Cosplay? Cosplay as who? There are no characters to cosplay as.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

If the con tickets were cheap enough to go as a joke, I'd cosplay as an alien from No Man's Sky to troll them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Star Citizen is a collection of Chris Roberts' experiences consuming other fiction and saying "bazinga! I like that! Put that in too!" so it's a general cosplay of general vague IPs from Mass Effect to Halo to Alien.