this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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Rule 3: No sectarianism.

Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome

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Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to [email protected]

Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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[–] [email protected] 109 points 1 year ago (2 children)

better take whiskey off the shelves... Said nobody.

What the fuck even is a history book?

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Al Capone was just just really into hot chip

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

italian mobsters born after 1931 can't hunt wolves all they know is lie, racketeer, and smuggle alcohol

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

He couldn't McDonald's or charge they phone back then, so he had to double down on eat hot chip and lie.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 year ago

You say that this product shouldn’t be sold because it might kill you, but have you considered that this other thing might kill you too? I am very smart.

[–] [email protected] 99 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (17 children)

White people fundamentally do not understand how spice works, like I have eaten hot wings where the only flavor is spicy, a chemical spicy flavor completely disconnected from nature whose sole purpose is to cause pain.

Like in cuisines that have used spices for thousands of years, it's understood that spiciness is meant to complement the other flavors used in the dish. Like there are hot-as-fuck Sichuan dishes that are nevertheless easy to eat becuase making it really hot isn't the only consideration in the recipe.

Like for the sake of white people we can't let them have anymore exotic flavors. Think of what they will do to themselves if Sichuan peppercorns ever get really popular. They will create a tasteless chip with so much numbing power it will cause permenent jaw paralysis.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 year ago

The one chip challenge is just macing yourself in the mouth for people who want to feel like they are above macing themselves in the mouth. I love spicy food but IMO once you start adding capsaicin extracts to anything, you've gotten lost somewhere.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 year ago

White people just see spices as challenges (see also the cinnamon challenge) that are meant to be conquered. There is to be no joy in Anglo life, only heroic victories over the asiatic menace known as "flavor".

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I've eaten bits of straight-up reaper that taste good because they're so strongly aromatic, and sauces that people ostensibly intended to taste good, but which taste like pool chemicals because it's full of capsaicin extract.

Anyway, just chop/mash/powderize actual peppers instead of doing dumb chemist shit with them.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Gnawed on a fresh Bird's Eye chili once, it was crisp with a satisfying snap to it. Also the roof of my mouth went numb for a while.

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 1 year ago

Eat hot chip and die.

kelly

[–] [email protected] 68 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Reminds me of a guy I know who said that lead paint and lead pipes in housing are fine as long as the occupants sign a waiver because "people should get to decide for themselves whether they want to accept the risk" and that "it'd be an expensive waste of government money to remove"

[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 year ago (1 children)

my favorite thing about heavy metals is their tendency to stay where you put them

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago (4 children)

They are heavy, of course they will stay put

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago (4 children)

You can test your own food for botulism. .001% lower taxes is worth the poors needing to do that. galaxy-brain

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I pointed out that his stance was anti-poor. His defense was "No it isn't, I'm poor myself." He owns 30 acres of land that his parents helped him pay for.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Similar brainworms wriggle around in ruling class vampires that think wearing superficially "minimalist" clothes and having a glass and steel view of their infinity pools makes them less like modern sun kings.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Never criticizing the expensive waste of government money it was to use lead products in the first place. They just don't want to acknowledge that undoing harm is part of fixing a problem.

The fact that these things were allowed at all is the problem, not that it'll cost money to fix it.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 year ago

Can't even enjoy hot chip while you lie anymore ooooooooooooooh

[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Neither of those points make sense. The label didn't say, "This chip might kill you".

Nor is there evidence that the guy ate the equivalent of 3 bottles of whiskey in hot chips. The story I read implied he ate one chip, which is the amount the manufacturer intended you to eat, since they come in packages of one.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago

Nothing chuds like more than licking corporate boot. Speculating about preexisting conditions is their favorite pastime whether it’s a cop murdering somebody or dying from eating hot chip

And even if it did say that, it would be unenforceable.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago (1 children)

you know you'd think a headline of "poisonous food kills child" would have most people on board with banning the poison but here we are

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago (6 children)

A few years of "children are CROTCH FRUIT from POORS that SHOULD NOT BREED" reddit-logo ideology didn't help.

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago

Casual eugenics treat loveryea

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

gotta add the eugenics at the end just as the final touch

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago

kid

thankfully removed himself from gene pool

IN THE SAME SENTENCE.

“Darwin Awards” and their consequences sadness-abysmal

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Are anglos really that much of a pig for punishment where they line up to eat the pepperspray chip?

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago

The American life is increasingly devoid of effective stimulus and thus self-destructive or seemingly self-destructive acts are used as stand-ins for "feeling alive".

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (11 children)

Take whiskey off the fucking shelves already I-was-saying

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Alright now which one of you has been going around scratching the liberals again?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Freddy Krueger, but instead of a brick wall, he's dragging his claw against a bunch of liberalism all lined up.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (4 children)

that's not even a treat it's volunterily undergoing torture to prove you're tough what the fuck

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"did you KNOW they had to put a warning in super man costumes telling people it couldn't make them fly? Such IDIOCY am I right people are IDIOTS they are so STUPID and now I will say that Idiocracy was a DOCUMENTARY because of all these IDIOTS"

"Yes I think the problem with US healthcare is too much government regulation"

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This is an American pastime: bitching and moaning about how everyone else is dumber than you. This is most clearly seen in driving, where everyone is somehow “above average”, according to themselves.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

George Carlin had a bit about how people would confess to any sin except being a bad driver or not having a sense of humor

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's all down to personal responsibility with these assholes. And with labeling in this country, it's even worse. It's not even about the (poor) literacy here. It's all of the technicalities you have to figure out.

Nutrition facts don't help a much as they should because the proportions they list are unrealistic and the information requires a lot of understanding outside of the basics. Ingredient lists use euphemisms to get around telling you what you're consuming ('evaporated cane juice' is just sugar).

Coca-Cola won a lawsuit over Vitamin Water, the ruling stating that it doesn't have to be healthy.

So we live in a country where corporations are people, allowed to lie, and have a profit incentive to hide the truth. They also have the time and resources to make and find loopholes to get around regulations.

And god forbid you find a workaround as a consumer. They'll close the loop and then try to sue into oblivion if you find a way to reliably navigate the system.

But yeah, it's a random person's fault that they ate a chip and died.

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