this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2024
559 points (98.9% liked)

Microblog Memes

5670 readers
1838 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 34 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 18 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

"She's so cute, there's no way she's single. She's probably just being really nice when she talks to me everyday"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

she probably thinks of me like a brother, no way am I going to make it weird now

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Holy shit get out of my brain.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 14 hours ago

nah I'm team actually completely oblivious

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 day ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (2 children)

Team: Nobody actually ever flirted with me, and just the audacity to entertain any romantic Idea could me considered an insult to the person of the highest magnitude.

Edit: I'm getting ratioed by memes.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

This meme will make a fine addition to my collection

[–] [email protected] 14 points 20 hours ago

Team: Anyone trying to genuinely flirt with me has bad enough judgment to be a red flag, or they are baiting a reaction. Not that I put my self in that kind of environment where flirting can occur in the first place.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Team: I Got Your Signals But Opted To Ignore Them Because I Hate The Game - Please Communicate Your Desires Verbally

“Are you autistic?”

“No, I’m rebelling.”

[–] [email protected] 13 points 21 hours ago

I'm not autistic. Everybody else is just weird.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 23 hours ago

A Rebel Without the Ability to Read Non-Verbal Cues

[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 day ago

Yea, you can’t really tell. Maybe she’s from Canada and was just being polite.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I’m like 80% sure at this point, she keeps trying to hold my arm or hand, she said she wanted me to touch her ass the other day, and she also invited me to watch a show in her bedroom at one point.

idk for sure tho :/

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

A woman I liked invited me over to watch some Buffy and we decided it got too late for me to go home, so I prepared to sleep on the sofa. She invited me to share her bed and I declined because I didn't want to inconvenience her. I was right, right? Right?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Women who go from 0 to 100 throw me off. So, she's inviting you for sex without any kissing or anything leading up to it? Was watching Buffy supposed to be the foreplay?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

I don't know! Maybe there were other signs I missed? Maybe it was a last effort before I left in the morning? Maybe she really was just being nice? I guess it's a mystery I'll take to my grave.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

yea but that was like 3 days ago

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You’re right, she’s probably not interested anymore

[–] [email protected] 8 points 21 hours ago

Maybe she's Canadian.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 19 hours ago

So what ? it's just a show. I too, love movies

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago

They might be Canadian

[–] [email protected] 4 points 17 hours ago

Someday I want a tv series where after 8+ episodes of flirting, it turns out that the guy was not oblivious: He just had zero interest in the girl in question.

[–] Sombyr 9 points 22 hours ago

Team "Not bothering to look for signs/flirting and just asking out people I like and crossing my fingers."

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

This, but also oblivious at the same time.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 hours ago

The flipside of "the worst she can say is no."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 22 hours ago
[–] solsangraal 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

don't leave out the fear of being title IX'd

[–] [email protected] 14 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Going bankrupt?

Oh wait, that's chapter 11..

Title IX: Improved Intelligence is the ninth of ten titles which comprise the USA PATRIOT Act, an anti-terrorism bill passed in the United States after the September 11, 2001 attacks. It amends the National Security Act of 1947 to require the Director of Central Intelligence (DCI) to establish requirements and priorities for foreign intelligence collected under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act of 1978 and to provide assistance to the United States Attorney General to ensure that information derived from electronic surveillance or physical searches is disseminated for efficient and effective foreign intelligence purposes.

So you're foreign and afraid of the director of the CIA spying on you to copy your flirtation techniques? Completely understandable.

[–] solsangraal 9 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

afraid of the director of the CIA spying on you

lol i came to terms with that long ago

[–] [email protected] 4 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

I'm going to bore him to death.

Now watch, as I open Netflix, scroll around for a bit, don't click on anything, close Netflix, open YouTube look at some channels, don't watch anything, close YouTube, open Netflix again, still nothing, close Netflix, fuck it, I'll watch Stargate again on DVD.