this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
252 points (98.5% liked)

Not The Onion

12558 readers
379 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
252
Permanently Deleted (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Permanently Deleted

top 18 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I will grab them by the pussy and get them exactly what they need, believe me. I alone can fix this

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago

Jesus christ that is the most Trump way to say it as well. I was ready to crosspost this until I saw it was already where it belongs :)

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's the tone and phrasing of a consent violator.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

A convicted consent violator nonetheless

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

The Taliban is doing the same.

Good people.

Thanks be to the god of Abraham for sending his god emperor king rapist supreme to protect all the women who can't be trusted to think, speak, or act for themselves.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago

The classic trick. For your protection, do not show any skin or your hair to not seduce men. Always be accompanied by a male relative or husband for your protection. Yes, dating is more difficult like that so we'll arrange the marriage. Yes, working is hard that way, so stay at home taking care of your husband and many children.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

Sounds rapey. On brand.

[–] SpaceBishop 11 points 1 month ago

"whether the women like it or not I'm going to protect them."

I see where the problem is. They simply misheard them. What he actually said was "I'm going to molest them." Easy mistake.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

There is a sci-fi story called "The stars my destination ". It's a pretty controversial story. The main character is a horrible person who never faces consequences, but you aren't supposed to like him. I've only read the summary myself, but as I understand it some of the bad things he does are only possible because of the ways society keeps women "safe" whether they like it or not.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Sounds like something a serial rapist would say.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Properly shielded from basic first-world human rights?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I'm sure that's going to make women feel so much better.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

What an extremely normal thing to say

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Somehow, I don't believe him.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Ok, here's what we'll do. Trump, you stand at one end of the football field. Behind you will be a woman. I'll charge at you, full speed. And YOU stop me.

Now, I know it seems like the implication here is that the winner gets the woman. To do whatever they want with her. Fear not. For she is merely ceremonial and symbolic. When I run full speed, and knock trump on his ass, I'll get MY jollies by hearing trump groan and cry, and maybe cough up blood. That's how I'd get off. Seeing him wimper like a little bitch. Maybe the woman we choose for this can raise the arm of the victor, like a ref would do after a boxing match.

Afterwards, the lady can go about her day, do whatever she wants. Trump can go to the hospital. And I can start a conga line, that I intend to make millions of people long. Really tour it around the city, ya know?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Protector of women

Retribution for men against women