Make America a joke again
this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
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If y'all are going back to the Victorian era, why not bring back poisoning?
Lmao do you think we've stopped, look at flint.
Oh my fucking God I cannot take this fucking clown show anymore.
I hate that I'm wondering if I'm eating the onion every time one of these clowns is announced.
Holy fuck.
Haha, oh wow. You guys over there really are fucked.
You know.... Come on, Russia. Send those bombs and let's wrap this up.
Why would they bomb their own country?
What in the fuck! One of biggest medical grifters in medicine is going to be in charge of billions of dollars of federal money? I really hope we lose everything this is Idiocracy 2.0.
People will be wondering how these people can suddenly all afford private jets and pedo islands.
At least in Idiocracy the President selected the smartest person to do the work.
You're surprised? I wouldn't have been surprised if Dr Phil was his pick.
This guy is worse
Yeah somehow dr.Phil would be the better pick, which is funny as hell to me.
This is a sex-positive fully automated future where we put the best and brightest in charge of things?
Oz has been a major supporter of Medicare Advantage, the program’s private sector alternative that has grown in popularity but has come under intense scrutiny for care denials and alleged overbilling.
In case you didn't RTFA: This is the grift
Trump and his cronies want to privatize the world. That’s the end goal. Gut all government agencies and sell them off to Elon or some private equity firm. If you want to live in the future they’re building it’s gonna be pay to play. You want healthcare, pay for it. You want education, pay for it. You want oxygen, pay for it!
….and 76 million people voted for it. 76 million people have fucked over 260 million people all cause they drank the orange kool-aid.
From ChatGPT; I know it is lazy!
Here’s a parody of "White and Nerdy" called "Shady and Shifty", written to the tune of Weird Al's classic: "Shady and Shifty"
(To the tune of “White and Nerdy”)
(Intro)
They see me lyin’
My schemes are thriving
Tryna catch me shady and shifty
Tryna catch me shady and shifty
Tryna catch me shady and shifty
Look at me so shady and shifty
(Verse 1)
First-class cons, yeah, that’s my mission
Got a fake ID and a forged prescription
Emails phishing, crypto missing
“Too good to be true” is my ammunition
I’m a smooth talker, spin a great tale
Sell you beachfront property up for sale
NFTs, pyramid schemes
Get rich quick, yeah, that’s the dream
I scammed your grandma, took her savings
Promises golden, but I’m just faking
Drop a fake link, then I’ll ghost ya
Too slick, I’m like a grifting virtuosa
Deceiving’s an art, and I’m Picasso
Write a fake check with a lotta zeroes
Skim the top like I’m making cream
Run my hustle, living the dream
(Chorus)
They see me lyin’
My schemes are thriving
Tryna catch me shady and shifty
Tryna catch me shady and shifty
Tryna catch me shady and shifty
Look at me so shady and shifty
(Verse 2)
Social engineering, it’s all a game
Switch the card, redirect the blame
Wire fraud? Yeah, I’m the best
Fake charity with a suit and vest
Hiding in plain sight, charming and clever
Take what’s yours and make it mine forever
Ponzi pro, I stack the dough
Vanished offshore before you know
I sell snake oil like it’s pure gold
Convince you quick, no time to fold
Stock tips, insider flips
I’m cashing out, you're sinking ships
My scams go viral, my lies are fire
Got you clicking links like an eager buyer
From fake raffle prizes to bonus gifts
I’m the king of con, my grift’s legit
(Chorus)
They see me lyin’
My schemes are thriving
Tryna catch me shady and shifty
Tryna catch me shady and shifty
Tryna catch me shady and shifty
Look at me so shady and shifty
(Bridge)
I know I’m shady, the law don’t faze me
I’ll find new marks if the game gets hazy
Dodging subpoenas, escaping fines
Makin’ my fortune while spinning lies
No morals here, it’s all survival
I’m on the move like I’m going viral
From cons to scams, it’s my domain
Shifty forever, just call me insane
(Outro)
They see me lyin’
My schemes are thriving
Tryna catch me shady and shifty
Tryna catch me shady and shifty
Tryna catch me shady and shifty
Look at me so shady and shifty
spoiler
Trump's motto: Always Be Grifting
Make America Grift Always
Oh boy, I can't wait to not be able to afford my medication for my autoimmune disease and die by vomiting blood until I exsanguinate! Thanks abstainers!
It's OK, if RFK Jr goes ahead and eliminates vaccines and infectious disease research, as he has stated he will, it's likely something else will kill us first.
Hey! Cause of death can’t be of a disease if they can’t test for it taps temple
"Cause of death: Act of God"
Make sure to aim at a Republican when you vom.
Better scream something at them right before:
"Hail Satan"
"My woke mind virus must spread"
"I bathe thee in communist red"
Y'know something along those lines
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It's pretty gruesome. Black and thick, like charcoal dust. I hope whatever fascist I die on is scarred for life.
Damn, I just get internal scarring and organ failure. The blood cannon sounds way cooler.
The obviousness of it literally saved my life. Last time it happened I was still in college and living at home. Threw up in the bathroom, and weakly staggered to my room, thinking it was dark because I'd drank a cola just before. I was ready to lay there and fall asleep until I felt better.
My mother, luckily, was home, noticed that there was half-washed out black slurry in the toilet and sink, recognized it as blood, unlike me at the time, and worriedly asked me if everything was alright. I said, "Yeah, mom, I'm fine, just a little nauseous." and she said fuck no, that's not cutting it, we're taking you to the hospital.
I had to get blood transfusions. They weren't sure I was going to make it. If I'd passed out on the floor of my room like I intended to wait it out, I'd've probably died. Gave my poor mother a terrible fright.
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Thanks Oprah
I like The Onion as much as the next guy but I don't think it's appropriate here
We did it... We taught those Democrats a lesson... Yay...
I hate this country so much.
Don’t worry, a majority of voters will think the impending enshittification is all the Democrats fault by the time the next (if any) election comes along.
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Thanks, Oprah.
Yep.
Dr Phil Dr Oz Jenny McCarthy
She sure knows how to pick 'em.
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Is he just picking people he sees on TV?
I read the explanation that Trump doesn't read but watches the telly and he is not building a cabinet but a cast. Bigger, louder and more exposure is better. Then it sort of makes sense.
How big of a fit do you think he threw when he was told he couldn't nominate Hannibal Lecter for anything because you can't be fictional and run a government department?
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Trump knows he lost in 2020, and he hates America for it. That's why we're getting TV show people and child rapists.
Trump wants like minded people in his team!
Trump wants to cause as much damage as possible because he's a traitor
Fuck
Why not get Dr.fucking Phil to be head of all mental facilities and everything mental. So he can push more people to suicide because he has nothing worthwhile to add or say to help people. Just go fucking full circle.
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Oh good, a guy who uses the word "magic" too many times for medicine is gonna do great...
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