this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2024
349 points (98.1% liked)

Not The Onion

12554 readers
256 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 150 points 1 month ago (1 children)

LET'S GET READY TO CRUMBLEEEE!!!!

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 month ago

TRUMP SLAMS LINDA INTO THE EDUCATION SECRETARY POSITION.

[–] [email protected] 86 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Reminds me of Dolores Umbridge. Why do they all remind me of Dolores Umbridge?

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Because despite the fact that Voldy was Harry's nemesis via prophecy, Umbridge was everyone's nemesis. Just out of spite.

She was worse.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Imelda Staunton did an amazing job of playing such a vile character. She really nailed the lawful evil nature from source material.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

She plays vile so incredibly well. I think it was Gypsy that I had to turn off and take a break from, as she was so horrible (the character, not the acting).

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They are on track to bankrupt The Onion

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

That's their game plan to prevent the Onion from purchasing the infowars domain

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 month ago (2 children)

How long is the education secretary gonna be there if we're getting rid of the department of education?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

Let's make bets on how many rounds!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Well, the department of energy is still around.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

between this and dr oz, is he just hiring people he knows from tv?

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (3 children)

He appears to be picking people from one of three lists:

  • Republicans with media experience (aka people he knows from TV or social media).
  • Whoever wrote the relevant section of Project 2025.
  • People accused of being Russian assets (mostly just Tulsi Gabbard at this point, but there's a reason she's going to be in charge of foreign intelligence and it's not for our benefit).
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Don't forget the rapists.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

You're also missing a major part, donorship. These picks aren't incompetence as it looks at first glance. They're deliberately picked for regulatory capture. They're going to burn it down from three inside.

Look at Dr. Oz. He got picked because of his wife's family, the Asplundhs. They're going to fuck up healthcare far worse than you expect.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/mattdurot/2022/06/04/the-billionaire-family-behind-dr-oz-is-one-of-the-wealthiest-clans-in-pennsylvania/

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Tulsi is also category 1

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago (2 children)

We're actually going full Idiocracy, holy shit. That's crazy.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago

Except President Camacho found the smartest person he could and immediately put him in charge. We're not even smart enough to be idiocracy.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In case people forgot, President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho was a porn superstar and, relevantly, five-time Ultimate Smackdown wrestling champion.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I always see this 'counter argument' but referring to Idiocracy is more about comparing the stupidness than the President.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I'm not making any arguments, I'm pointing out that wrestling specifically was involved in the plot of Idiocracy.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

It doesn't seem counter at all. Trump is in several Russian porno tapes just ask him, and he was part of WWE multiple times.

So it works in stupidity and his character traits.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Since literally everything in the government seems to be getting dismantled, what companies are going to pick up the pieces for these sectors? If we are drowning in a sinking ship we can at least invest in a life boat to buy eggs with and fight the impending inflation. The goal seems to shift trillions from government funding to private sectors and deregulate to let the friends of Trump get even wealthier.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Solar is and isn't going to be a future successful asset, because Trump will do everything to devalue it while the rest of the world moves right on to adopting it.

Gold is at an ATH, Bitcoin is at an ATH, oil is a gamble because while Conservatives may push it, the move for renewables is against it.

Metals and materials for computer chips are still worthwhile investments and Ai is shaky unless it pulls a few more parlor tricks.

The only real things I can find that are corrupt and exempt enough from litigation or a recession...

are prisons and weapons contractors.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I’m buying reits. Real assets may hold their value while trump is purposely fucking shit up.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

This comment was sponsored by the friends of the universal Disney fox conglomerate. Have a brawndow day!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago

I just read the Oz thing. I fucking can't anymore.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Does the USA just let anyone become in charge of large areas of the country? Like you don't need to be an elected official or anything?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

Elected? You don't even need to be qualified. Or even sane.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

The President and Legislature are elected at the federal level. All the various major executive branch figures below that are appointed by the President, and at best require the Senate to approve them. Most aren't as ridiculous in their picks as Trump, but he's a narcissistic megalomaniacal buffoon so he has to ensure to himself that's he's surrounded with people who are well known and popular (hence why he seems to be mostly picking based on media experience rather than anything pertinent, save a couple of Project 2025 authors and Tulsi Gabbard) but that he can see himself as above and will stroke his ego by affirming that.

[–] scoobford 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This position of the president's cabinet, so the only requirement is to be appointed by the president. We elected a scummy mafia-adjacent businessman, and he's appointing the other mafia-adjacent scum he owes favors to.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Selected by the president, but also approved by the senate.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

True, but in this Trump-taint-licking time, the Senate isn't going to object to anyone

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

There is Senate confirmation. But there is talk of Trump pressuring the Senate to adjourn so his nominations can be rammed through as "recess appointments". Then we'd really be in rubber stamp legislature autocracy territory

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

Oh hey, surprised devoss didn’t buy it again. I assume McMahon’s platform is more concussions for children

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

She donated a lot of money to his campaign. As did a few others that he's appointing to offices. Pay to play.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Of course she did

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

Sure, whatever.

At this point, I frankly don't even really care anymore.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Things are going to get so ridiculous.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Why do we need an education secretary if the plan is to just do away with education all together.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I think this is the least egregious of all the cabinet picks.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I JUST posted this in the McMahon seperation thread, fucking hell

https://lemmy.world/comment/13561917

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Burn it to the ground.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Surely she’ll be less bad than DeVos, though

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›