this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
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Only one time use.

Think of like world leaders, celebrities, ya know πŸ˜‰. Are you gonna make them do some embarassing things, or illegal acts.

My answer:

spoilerTake control of an NSA agent with access to the most powerful hacking tools, hack everyone's phone, install a program that randomly have a popup at random intervals, the popup message says "I'm watching you". This also tries to spread itself to any other phone it can connect to. Pure chaos 😈

Pretty sure I can do this in a minute, depending on how good the NSA tools are.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

take over Trump on inauguration day just as he's about to take the oath. claim the election was rigged in my favor by the Russians and everyone I know was in on it also that I'm (he) a Russian spy. call all magas mentally retarded and they should drink bleach to cleanse the world of their filth.

finally take a swan dive down the stairs and break my neck.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

finally take a swan dive down the stairs and break my neck.

Think you'd even be able to get his feet off the ground?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 20 hours ago

The human body is amazing and has limiters that stop one from pushing too hard.

in times of great stress an individual can push past those limits.

Every fiber of my soul would be screaming to get out of that sack of shit, even if it would blow out his ACL's, I would ensure that fatass would at least get 10 good inches off the ground.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago

Okay, I've had a nice nap, so here's the answer: I'd take over Putin's body, demand the nearest person's gun, and rid the world of him (Putin) once and for all.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Take over a billionaire and tell assistant to transfer 5m to real me and never mention it again or he will be fired.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

That's sus af.

Just set up a bitcoin wallet before you use the ability. Then take control of someone like musk, who definitely has some bitcoins, transfer all to your wallet.

Untraceable! (ish)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I can't login to my own Coinbase in under a minute, let alone someone else's.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 21 hours ago

Most people would have everything already logged in on their phone.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Very traceable, in fact. Do you know how bitcoins work?

The issue is when you try to spend the bitcoins. You'll eventually reveal some of your personal info when doing so, unless you are willing to work with the underground. Might go well, might end up with you in a ditch or a cell.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

Wear a mask

Go to Bitcoin ATM

Withdraw

Ez

I mean, its better than having the money wired directly to your bank account like the other user suggested.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Psst, or use actually more anonymous crypto like monero.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Huh, I wasn't aware there's such a thing as a bitcoin ATM. That would make it possible I guess, but I feel like eventually you'd still get caught some way or another.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

ATMs aren't known for their anonymity. You'll still get caught

[–] [email protected] 1 points 23 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Make Putin jump through a high rise window.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 22 hours ago

Wait til I know he's having a summit with KJU and blam him first, then any generals standing nearby, then self

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ah i see we think alike. Except i would have it during a live video and make it look like he 'accidentally' topped out. People would be like "he... he actually just fell out of a window"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 22 hours ago

It's a real problem, these high windows

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Lol, people would just think he got couped

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Gotta keep the tradition you know πŸ˜‰

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Have Trump take off his diaper on TV and say "my smol wee wee has poo poo on it, me sad"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 23 hours ago

Are you trying to get him elected a third time?

Is supporters would eat that up. "He's just so brave and relatable."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago

Give it like a month and you won't have to waste your one ability use on this.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Trump will take a hero dose of acid, there’s no other way

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Technically, that’s an alkali

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I didn't care how pretty she is. I need more than a minute.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Idk, it just feels kind of rapey?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And it doean't feel wrong to joke about that to you?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

As Netanyahu start screaming in to the nearest camera.

"This is the one true voice of God, Of course this man commits genocide! His final solution to Palestinians is to smite every hospitals, school and refugee until none remain! Those that help him kill shall be damned with him. Repent!"

Figure that is immposible for him to explain away and would end his support. Killing him wouldn't stop the killing, but discrediting him among the religious might.

Only downside is it would cement religion as a fact, but I guess if I got magic possession powers then it end my skeptical agnosticism about higher powers anyways.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That'd take more than a minute.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Takes Over NSA Agent

Logs Into Desktop

Clicks Start Menu

The End.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 days ago (6 children)

People are going to say Trump and Putin and all that shit, but I'm going to control my boss and have him double my salary.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Even magic won't make me more money. =C

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Make the Pope announce his conversion to Buddhism (and declare it an infallible doctrine of faith, ex cathedra).

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Oh that's a good one. Get the pope to pass a bull offering everyone salvation, past, present, future, fictional, factual, human, animal, spirit.

They'd reverse it quickly, but it would be too late. It happened.

And because the Holy See has ecclesiastic jurisdiction (as we all learned in Dogma ) then it would totally count. Heaven for everyone.

And if there are angels in Wisconsin cursed by God and breaking divine infallibility unmakes the universe (it doesn't) then the world would end.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I would save it for an armed person protecting a full cabinet meeting after january 15th.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Take over Clearance and have him shoot kegStand. Based on the timing, the next 58 seconds can be a sick rant about guns.

If sleepy Joe is on the ball, he'll have two young replacements in mind.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Not a lot you can do in one minute. Maybe a tweet? so would have to take the muskrat.

"After a discussion with president elect orange turdball I will be shutting down X January next year, you can find me over on Truth Social"

Then sign him out of twitter from each device in range.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 days ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Your action was a lot less violent than mine.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Make this useless toxic twat at work do something so stupid she'd be fired immediately and never be able to get her job back.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

As someone with ADHD, I’d immediately get myself doing the things I want to be doing. Manipulating/screwing over others? No thanks. The havoc I wreak just in myself is plenty enough

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Wouldn't you just get distracted and put it off for later like you already do when you already have control of yourself albeit through the very same ADHD-addled brain you were hoping would for some reason spend the one, in some way supernatural minute, highly effectively?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Make someone kill me tbh

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