this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy

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Preferably the hell of the blood-soaked Bible

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 11 months ago (1 children)

28.3168 liters of piss, addressed to Margret Thatcher.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (7 children)

I’ve heard people say the opposite, β€œwouldn’t piss on her if she was on fire”.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

On fire is a good start

On fire and soaked in piss is better

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Is my piss not supposed to be flammable?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Well, hell is supposed to be forever. Eventually the liquid piss would evaporate, leaving behind solid compounds that, in my experience, would still smell quite bad. And then, she'd burst into flames again. Sounds like a win-win.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I was witness to what burnt piss does on a hot muffler.

It stinks, for miles. And months.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That U2 album that was included free with peoples iPhones that time.

[–] treadful 30 points 11 months ago

A cubesat with a full array of sensors because hell needs to be studied.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

American measurement systems

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Think of the money saved alone.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (3 children)

how much is that in real units?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

A foot is like 30cm. So it's roughly 27000 cm^3 or 27 liters.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

finally a serious answer

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

About 0.5 bananasΒ³

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)

glitter. nothing is as bad as glitter, it gets everywhere and is hard to clean

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's coarse and irritating and it gets everywhere

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

And even the women and the children...

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

A care package for myself for when I get there.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I haven't yet decided between:

  • A self-addressed, postage prepaid box about 11.75" on a side. (Who knows what I'd get!)
  • One of these but with holy water, incense, and gregorian chants instead of glitter, stink spray, and countdown timers.
  • A copy of the Assassin's Creed movie with a note attached: "here, you can have this back."
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Potatoes, wrapped in aluminum foil. Maybe some other veggies too.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

Add some broth, baby you got a stew going!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (5 children)
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

a black hole

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Camera and batteries. Turn it on and send it. I'm about to host the hottest twitch stream.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Hell has wifi? Sure. Why not?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yes, but its 2.4 only and stops working everytime Satan microwaves the outer layers of a frozen pizza pop.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

There's definitely wifi and printers in hell.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

A bunch of battery powered fans and batteries

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's going to hell, so I would put in dead batteries.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

i'd mix in some living ones too in a 10:1 ratio (of which order will be randomly decided)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Ice water because Mallory Archer told me that's what people there want

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] incogtino 5 points 11 months ago

What's in the box???

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

The asshole who invented the β€œreply all” button…

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

The entrails of the last priest.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Nearly 7.5 gallons of Sagittarius A*

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

One essential organ of as many influential fascists as will fit. I'm thinking brain stem. That's smaller than a heart or spine

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Just the middle 2 cm of the aorta will do.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

A snow cone machine. I might be mean.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

A sphere of annihilation and a portable hole

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