"I'm not racist, but" oh, they are going to say something racist.
this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
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It's fun to put "I'm not racist but" in front of totally innocuous statements.
I'm not racist but there's a blue Hyundai parked outside my building.
It still works. If I heard that my first thought would be "who are they racist against?"
βIβm not racist but the weather is nice todayβ
I use something similar often. "I'm not racist but the color of the bread is white."
See also, "Nobody likes to say it out loud, but..."
"The hard truth is..." something completely obvious.
Something completely untrue.
"I'm not gay but..." proceeds to say the gayest thing you have ever heard.
Oh weird, I did that one constantly as a kid. π³οΈβππ³οΈβππ³οΈββ§οΈ
"I promise" followed by anything. That thing will 100% not happen.
I Promise I will get a girlfriend.
I promise i will NOT get a girlfriend.
The universe works out the logic of this statement, weighs the pros and cons of complying, ultimately decides to just shut things down.
I promise that I am lying to you right now
I promise that in a few hours the sun will rise.
You've done doomed us all, donnie!
My husband is 20 years older than me, we have been together 17 years, what is your autocomplete for this?
"... and then he told me I should be a stay at home wife, and I accepted, we had 5 kids after we initially agreed to only have one but he pressured me, we moved to his hometown where I knew no one, he controlled all of my finances, after 12 years of marriage I confronted him for cheating on me but he always denied it, until I found his second family but I couldn't leave him because I had no money of my own and lived far away from my family, then he became physically abusive and telling me that I was nothing without him, I needed help to leave him but im still fighting in court over child support and shared custody, but he is now with his third family and refuses to pay for nothing, I should have left him a long while ago but I couldn't see the red flags and even my family thought at the time it was a bad idea to marry him but they knew I wouldn't listen because I was 20 and naΓ―ve"
I've seen so many cases with different variations.
Well, weβre gay, Iβm the breadwinner and no fighting over custody of anyone.
Cool. So nice to hear. Congratulations.
Have you heard of GME?
ππ
"I don't like to spread rumors .... "
"I'm sorry that you..."
... feel offended by my point of view.
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise?
"Yes, I have! We learned about him at the Academy. It turns out it was an ironic nickname given to him by his peers after his disciple basically took him down. One of those lessons in knowledge and treachery, meant as a fable for building false trust, but some idiots are empowered it."
"After this, I'm retiring"
The would-be retiree is dying the ABSOLUTE next scene. RIP my wingman PJ, he was gonna marry his girl after we left the Avalon Dam
"After this, im retiring"
2 years later: Hayao Miyazaki is making a new movie.
"After this, no more albums."
10 years later: Tupac still going strong.
I loaned one of my friends $500 two months ago and
.. he paid it back double. What a fella. Salt of the Earth type. Super Buff. We're getting married next July after he leaves his wife. Has problems with birds.
"I'm not a racist, but ..."
Surely to be followed by some extremely racist shit.
it's not you, it's me.
we've been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty.
and getting married, love at first sight!
...whatever could go wrong?
Some wonderful "rhetoric" filled examples, as well as an unrelated all time clasic
- "Your generation is so entitled-"
- (in reference to progressive language) "It's so hard to keep up-"
- Any mention of J*rdan P*terson in a positive light
- "So, we noticed you across the bar and love your style-
(in reference to progressive language) βItβs so hard to keep up-β
I mean sometimes, genuinely, you can be the most well-meaning person in the world and still insult somebody.
In Turkey, pointing with your index finger backwards at someone is a gross insult. In some European countries, sticking your thumb between your first and second finger means "good luck" or "f**ck you" depending on where you are. In England, a cunt can be an insult or a term of endearment.
Sometimes you can blink, and the language changes around you. It can be genuinely hard to keep up, especially more so if you're not wired into the WWW 24/7
Hello there...
General Kenobi
Dont worry, you can trust me
Once upon a time...
And then he/she said : I am going to thread you Wright