Your next target
this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2023
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____ would like to connect. You know what to do.
Your next target is a notorious head hunter, known for his cheap, ill-fitting glasses. Eliminate with extreme prejudice, Agent 47.
He does look like the profile pics of the targets in hitman.
Your mission should you choose to except it
Why would you choose to subscribe to linkedin notifications? Why, in particular, would you choose to receive linkedin notifications on your watch?
Notifications is a privilege you should only grant to key applications, and watch notifications should be the most important of all notifications.
"Here's a guy" via linkedin is not on the list of approved high-value notifications.
I agree. But I also haven't meet anyone IRL who curates their notifications. In fact most people don't seem to give a shit what apps they install and their notification bar usually has 3000 alerts pending.
People are weird AF. I restrict almost all notifications and what's annoying sometimes these assholes (looking at you Google Play) re-enable them.
The only notifications I allow are messages and emails.
What the hell else would I need to be notified about?
I get notifications for rocket launches from Cape Canaveral so I can go outside and look at them, but that's very geographically specific, lol.
Exactly!
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No surprise, Play is malware.
I'm the person OP is talking about and my wife is the person you're talking about.
It is physically and emotionally painful for me to have to look at or use her phone.
Does she also just leave the apps in their original download place on her home screens? I always wonder about the lives of people who have like 5+ screen of unsorted apps.
My wife has six home screens each with a random selection of apps and widgets. I feel like there would be more order if they were just in the position they landed when she installed them. She never clears notifications or closes browser tabs. I feel anxious whenever I use her phone to do anything.
I am this person too. I open every app I use by opening the full list and scrolling. If it's one I use regularly I remember where it is via muscle memory... until I (un)install another app and it's shifted over by 1. My notifications are full of weeks-old Discord notifications I never gave a shit about in the first place, SMS messages about prescriptions I've already picked up, and beneath the "important" section there's a horrific underbelly of junk emails, random ads from other apps, system notifications, news, duplicated emails across Gmail and Outlook, etc etc etc...
I'm fairly techy and know these are easily solvable things, but I'm pretty unorganized irl with a healthy dose of ADHD too so these habits take some effort and time to build. I've poked at disabling notification categories per app and organizing my app shelf but I don't stick with it much. Sometimes it's unclear what notifications are in which categories, and apps update and add notifications all the time that I then have to go in and disable again. I can organize my apps on my screen, but muscle memory works "good enough" to the point that I forget to use the organized screen and just dive into All Apps again.
I’m mildly neurotic (if such a thing exists) about my app layout. I was so happy when Apple gave us the option to just not have apps install to home screens, and instead just stick in the list. I have a select few apps I use regularly that are in folders on my one single Home Screen, and the rest I get to by using spotlight.
I don’t necessarily judge those of you who go with the “they stay where they installed” approach, I just have a hard time grasping it from my side. Haha
Heeeey. That’s how I roll too.
If my phone buzzes at any point and I don't want to see what it shows me, that app loses all notification permissions immediately.
This is the way.
Also, there are many apps that can have their notification silenced so it doesn't ring or show on the lockscreen. I do this even for emails. The phone is checked easily more than 50 times a day, many notifications can sit silently and wait till I next pickup my phone for something else. Ringing should be reserved for things that need immediate attention worth the interruption.
After the recent news about using push notifications to track your activity, I disabled all notifications.
All of them.
I'll look at my phone when I look at it. If you need something desperately, you'd probably call...
Not that I'd pick up. But I'd know to check everything else before I decide to text you.
I'm slowly cutting my phone out of my life. I've been hurt too many times and I'm defederating from modern society.
Sometimes I give apps a one star review because of this.
Same, it's actually triggering given how easy it is.
Which they then don't notice in the mass of useless bull.
Have you ever tried unsubscribing from LinkedIn notifications? The are like 300 and you have to do them all individually
I never subscribed in the first place.
the question is what series of horrible life events led to you needing the linkedin app on your phone in order for this to be an issue?
Posts like this make me realize it's probably a blessing that I can't afford a smart watch considering how terminally online I already am.
It's had the opposite effect for me, in the past when I'd catch myself doom scrolling I had only pulled the phone out to make sure I hadn't missed a message and then just didn't put it back down.
Now I'll just glance at the watch and see if it's important or not.
LinkedIn is garbage. I was trying to do some things on mobile. Nope. Gotta download the app. Switch to desktop mode, okay now you can do the thing.
I loathe companies that force their app by making an almost unusable mobile experience. If I didn't use LinkedIn to keep up with networks professionally, I wouldn't be using it.
It's far easier to control your experience, harvest your date, and feed you ads on an app.
Also keep in mind that on Android, apps will opt to use Webview, which Google has said they're injecting their web environment integrity bullshit into.
I'm an android developer, so I fully understand what you're saying which is why I absolutely refuse to use any app that I don't absolutely need. If it's simple enough, I'll just make my own app, haha.
To be fair the issue is having a mobile view standard and a widescreen laptop / tablet view standard.
LinkedIn is the worst social media. I get far more annoyed reading that than any other social media.
But it's a nice place to keep an updated CV
its a fedpost
What does that mean
For years I didn't know LinkedIn was considered a real website. I thought it was just a spam factory and all the profiles on the site were either fake or generated from barely ever correct scraped info. Like those celebrity info sites that appear on Google but for business people. But no, somehow behind it all there's an actual company that the government knows about.
I got my jobs thru there. Beats indeed and monster and all those other sites
Usually with some corpospam message about never charging the company for overtime, because "that's what it takes to be the boss one day".
You know, rather than having the good fortune to fall out of the boss's wife's cunny, where his real boss will inevitably come from.
Holy shit, I just realized we have real life Dick Tracy watches now!
To see random dudes on linkedin! What a time to be alive!
"Meet Dave."
I wouldn't mind being sent such a notification of the El Duderino abiding.
Is that Joe Scott?
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