treat yourself like your best friend. if your best friend said "uhg im ugly i hate myself" you would say "shut up youre beautiful and i love you" so just do that to yourself out loud ideally.
this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2024
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Self Improvement
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My therapist said to write positive things about myself on the mirror, but that doesn’t seem to be helping 
Maybe your advice is a more active approach to that. Thank you comrade I will give it a try
yeah im too adhd for the notes to work, i forget they are there.
at about 6-8 languages, I have at least realized becoming very good at things is not sufficient
How do you mean?
I learned arcane languages. retroactively I think I did it bc the earliest thing from my childhood is being told I will never learn to write and read and general abuses and so I started to compensate and language proficiency seemed like the best way to do so. I feel a little bit better now, but it's not like I discovered my self-worth that way
I donno what all fandoms you are in but maybe look into conlangs. I only really became privy to them because my wife is a linguistics nerd. But if you know 8 languages and recognize the various structuring and such, you might be a good fit for creating languages for tv and movies.
Or even just for creative writing and such.
I'm currently working on a quasi-creole for a story but really want to have it fully developed if this story goes anywhere. I'm a bit clueless on it all though.
first I need a better job (paying enough to live off beans and public transport, but if I am able, I think I want to learn or teach endangered languages in some capacities. I speak some that are pretty gnarly to learn for europeans/amerikans like Arabic and Hebrew, so I don't think I will be troubled by difficulty. I don't know-know 8 languages bc I need to maintain languages as well, I'd more say around 5 active ones and 8 passively
That's still impressive by any means. Bilingual should be a pretty normal thing in the SStates imo and I wish they'd teach Spanish in early development more than making is an elective in HS. Just being able to casually speak 5 and know 8 others in any capacity blows my mind.
I hope we can all find jobs that better fit our passions. I have seen morn than a few posts about other users in a very similar under-employed situation. It sucks and I wish I could just get paid a living wage helping people instead of turning cows into profits(last software job).
also I have always respected IT people (I am not disciplined enough for it)
I feel like my "gift" is the computery side of IT and not so much the dev side. I can do both. But can't get even an entry level job because I fucking suck at talking to humans and so I suck at interviewing.
Language is not monetizeable if you are too trans and weird for corporations and don't want to be a 
Thats sick
Internal validation comes from practice, in my experience. You have to learn to be comfortable impressing yourself, and being alone with yourself. If you're having a hard time, saying words out loud to yourself as if you're talking to someone else can help. EX. "Wow, I look really good today" or "I did such a great job making dinner tonight." You're always going to seek external validation to a point, but developing this skill will for sure help you need it less.
Agree
Inner child work w a good therapist, for me.
Idk why but I still can’t get aboard the inner child stuff
Which probably means I should, but it seems so incomprehensible that would solve anything
For me, it helped with a feeling of emptiness. Now it's like a feeling of love for myself. It helps me calm down because my brain doesn't start going "you've been abandoned." Because I have always got me. :)
note: It did go terrible when I tried to do it myself, though. My therapist was a really important factor. We used the John Bradshaw book "Homecoming."
This feels like the question of life tbh
I think my hobbies center around the ability to game them so I can have a sense of achievement while improving or completing or learning a thing. The more I dive into a new interest, the more rewarding and validating it becomes.
Idk if this will work for you but the question Resonated with me a bit.
A lifetime of neurodivergent spite towards the nakedly anti-human institutions that have long tried to convince me that their expectations for me should be my expectations for myself.
I think good parenting is what gives people a good sense of self-esteem, if they didn't do that getting it later is hard.
I feel like by accepting that there are good and bad things about me I was able to foster an environment where I can focus on the good things. If theres nothing I can do about the bad things or it's not worth the effort, why focus on them?
I'm also my biggest advocate, I have my off days but I try to remind myself that I can do anything I want to and I can and have grown.
You just gotta do it too, dont think about it too much.