this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2023
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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I have just realised how many things I haven't done or potentially won't do because they scare me.

With uni, sometimes I'm scared to try because I'm worried I'll fail, and at least if I fail without trying, I'd have some control over it. I'm scared of losing my relationship so I haven't advocated for my wants as much as I should be doing, and considered ending it. I will only do cardio at the gym if it's busy because I don't want to be around other people when I'm probably fucking up movements. I've always wanted to teach but I'm bloody scared to.

Today I'm saying fuck it. I'm going to try, even if that means I fail.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

You've probably heard all the motivational shit that gets peddled in such situations. One thing that has stuck with me over the years, is that the best songs are about failures. Very few decent songs about successes. Seems to me that failure is nothing to be afraid of - it's liberating and creative. And puts an end to that particular fear. You have already found out how crippling fear can be. Failure is nothing compared to that. Go forth and give whatever it is a reasonable shot.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

How do you know if you're good at something or enjoy doing something if you never give it a go? I say to you fuck it. Do it. You might like it.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (6 children)

This is going to be my last vape. Vaping is a hangover from my last bender, which lasted about 5 weeks. Easier to quit booze than nicotine, the craving for booze comes after the first drink but doesn't persist after I stop for long at all. Nicotine however is a different story. I have those lozenges to defeat the cravings and a plan to wean myself off them over a couple of weeks if I need to. 50 days sober today, so the end of vaping is how I'll celebrate this milestone.

Only walked 4ks at work, so need to do another 6 today and luckily the weather is pretty perfect for it.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Apologies for last night, using this place as a vent for some of my trauma. I would hate to have triggered anyone, and I am sincerely sorry if I have.

The woes of waiting for a therapy appt, and being very, very friendless. I appreciate you who put up with my trauma-dumping, and I would not fault a single one of you who may block me.

I have spoken at length with mein liebe, he knows everything. But he not my caretaker, nor therapist, and neither is this place.

I will treat you better than I have.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Venting is part of therapy. I appreciated it. We are somewhat acquaintances and somewhat strangers which is quite similar to the therapist / patient relationship.

I overshare here and while its a journal it's also because the people close to me have not been good to share with for the most part. They're supportive, but most of them think I should have sucked it up and moved on by now. That's not how dealing with trauma works. Not how the journey of being transgender works. Not how trying to come to terms with having neurodivergences works. Not how being in addiction recovery works. This stuff takes years and we all need people in our lives who have patience to hear us talk about things a lot over and over again. You're welcome to vent and share as much as you feel like in my dms hun. I'm a good ear and I've been to dark places a lot in the past as well. Lots and lots of love.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank you, you have been nothing but kind and understanding. It means the world to me. You are such a wonderful, incredible human being. 💜💜💜

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Waiting for an appointment is torturous. In the meantime keep busy. Have a look on r/miniatures for inspiration.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You have nothing to apologise for. You're human and humans reach out to other humans. hugs

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

My dreaded birthday month. Just cancel it already :(

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, they have to name it something. I do wonder why they picked a roman emperor though.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The gregorian calendar (which we use) is based on a very, very small but functionally significant change to the Julian calendar, the predominant calendar of the Roman empire.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (8 children)

How does gnocchi with cherry tomatoes, zucchini, bacon, garlic, parmesan in a cream sauce with garlic bread sound? Great. 6 o'clockish. Don't be late. Bring dessert.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I have to keep a two week log for the council to do anything about the neighbour dog barking. Less than half a week in and I’m well on my way to filling out the first page. I left a friendly note (didn’t feel comfortable approaching in person) and they now seem to be leaving the dog outside longer & barking to spite me. What’s wrong with this psycho? If I received a note about my dog being a nuisance I would be mortified. It’s the dog that’s suffering at the end of the day. Going to try go bed earlier because come sunrise it starts up again.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

5pm is log off and nap time.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I bitterly recall team meetings at 5:30 pm at a former job.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Yeah lol used to have calls and presentations at like 10:30pm a couple of workplaces ago it was cray. Nowadays I stare people down if they set 9am or 4:30pm meetings

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Aircon installation in progress. Mr Woof is not happy. Miss Meow is indifferent.

Edit: Now they're drilling loudly on the roof. Miss Meow has ugraded to somewhere between alert/alarmed.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (5 children)

My dinner
Image of a bowl with gnocchi, bacon and vegetables, in a delectable creamy sauce.

It was delicious. I love how the tomatoes go pop in my mouth :)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I too would use the grater as a shovelfork.

Looks delish.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I can't say I've ever been particularly close to wanting to punch a robot before, but those FUCKING PHOTO MACHINES at Officeworks are absolutely useless. I just spent 5 minutes trying to get the damn thing to work, and I was going to print a fair few out. I selected about 100, and after 10 minutes it decided I wasn't there anymore. It didn't even ask me, it just assumed I left and cancelled it. Stupid machine

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Day 6 completed. New steel caps feel awesome but my goodness are they heavy! Probably a leg and bun workout in themselves.

Im listening to the liked songs on the family playlist. My daughter's favourite song ATM is Mr Blue Sky by ELO. My son's is either Alter Bridge Metalingus (also my current listen) or Cult of Personality by Living Colour. Our playlist reads like a multi personality disorder!

Have a great day everyone! I'm off to make a truck ton of pizzas!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

ELO, nice. So many great songs there to find for them. My dad used to play a single ELO greatest hits record all the time growing up. When I grew up, I randomly recognised a song (Telephone line i think), and I got a huge rush of nostalgia. Now on regular plays on long trips in the car.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm such a dumbass. I only realised today that Nullarbor Plain is Null - Arbor (ie no trees). My brain never seperated out the two words before.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Pumped for Oppenheimer at IMAX today! My body is ready to by visually and aurally confronted....maybe also physically judging from the feedback about how uncomfortable the seats are supposed to be :/

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Getting left alone in the office is terrible for my productivity, I love it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

I feel like there's a lot of coverage about the cost of living crisis but nobody is talking about how fish & chip places have had the absolute balls to start charging $2-$2.50 EACH for dim sims and potato cakes. I'd love to see some data on how they justify those prices because I suspect it's just one of those "oh.. everyone else seems to be increasing their prices so I will too.. yay money" scenarios. This stuff is meant to be a cheap feed. The world just keeps getting worse.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I think they are trying to stop cheap as an option.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Arse blasting avoided for another month. Thank you kind RBA overlords.

All hail Lowe

All hail Lowe

They're still all twats though

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sigh, I only get $93 from Centrelink and then next fortnight it's $0, I am le sad.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Saw a guy dressed cross between a beatnik and that arty guy Otho from Beetlejuice. Cool.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Going to continue the Keeley Hawes copverse and rewatch Spooks. I am very ready for cringey cheesy outdated tech speak, and the capabilities of a government agency blown way out of proportion.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Got tonight sorted sorta, found a bunch old movies to watch. ( yes I know I said I wasn't going to do movies mid week but these are real old oldies) then read a few pages of a book. 👍

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Watched War on Waste tonight and it’s criminal how much food is thrown out at farms because supermarkets deem it doesn’t fit size and aesthetics specification. Literally carrots dug out of the ground and thrown in a bin Immediately. Disappointing because it’s years after they exposed the same thing for bananas. It’s the whole food system. Nothing has changed.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It burns with the passion of one thousand stars
Then stabs with hate and leaves the scars
It brings us hope and shows us light
Then blinds our judgement with the night
It'll take us to our final hour
Draining us of our power

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Got an email from RMIT saying like "here are some alumnis things you can do" and one of them was study a postgrad degree. Decided to check it out and the graduate diploma and masters of the field I studied in both allows anyone to enter if you have had a minimum of 3 years in a related field OR completed a bach degree. I remember looking at the masters and it said you had to have a study score of something related to a HD, which I didn't have.

Might see how I go with work, but I kind of want to do it. Has anyone experienced studying and also working before? (And not working like hospo or retail)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

It's not easy and you'll be tired a lot. But I would consider whether you need the debt. Compare the cost versus benefit.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (8 children)

I'm at the point, again, of my regular re-watch of Star Trek:Voyager where as much as I consider Janeway a role model, I'm so bitterly disappointed that during filming Kate Mulgrew was absolutely horrible to Jeri Ryan and made her life very difficult on set.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

The situation was pretty horrible and it's so bizarre because Kate and Jeri just had this amazing chemistry together. I feel sorry for both Jeri and Kate. The show was struggling and instead of working on the writing, the producers decided to fix the shows problems with sex appeal. Kate felt that this was utterly demeaning to her and given how horrible hollywood is to women 40 and over and I can't blame her for feeling that way. However, her rage was directed at the wrong person and Jeri was just there to do a job. Thankfully, Kate has profusely apologised to Jeri and they patched things up a while ago. They even appear at conventions together now. At least they didn't plumb the same depths as the infamous Shatner/Takei feud 😆

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Things are soo fucked on the Werribee Line, that V/Line has to run bus replacement trains to Wyndham Vale.

A Powercor line fell onto the tracks.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I am guessing this is why there was heavier than usual traffic on my way to work.

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