this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2024
90 points (92.5% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27268 readers
2304 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

[title] I could swear I came across it before, but then again, maybe I dreamed it. 🫣

top 34 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 46 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Anemoia - nostalgia for a life you never lived.

Apparently made up for the experience you're describing.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Never mix anemoia with bleach.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Or add water to chlorine.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Let me guess, The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows? Absolutely wonderfull project.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

*suddenly playing flute*

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Even though I saw the flute episode, I still read that in the voice of Borat

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Michael Sullivan (of "delete the wife" fame) says it in Lower Decks 4x01. And a Betazoid gift box says it again in 4x03 (after similarly living an entire fabricated lifetime in a moment).

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (2 children)

OP noticed the weirdly flat looking lamp

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

wow, haven't thought about that story for a long time

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

There was an AskReddit thread titled "Have you ever felt a deep personal connection to a person you met in a dream only to wake up feeling terrible because you realize they never existed?"

The original comment being referenced has been since deleted, but you can still find some reposts floating around.

Here's a copy of it:

throw away account cause this is really personal.

My last semester at a certain college I was assulted by a football player for walking where he was trying to drive (note he was 325lbs I was 120lbs), while unconscious on the ground I lived a different life.

I met a wonderful young lady, she made my heart skip and my face red, I pursued her for months and dispatched a few jerk boyfriends before I finally won her over, after two years we got married and almost immediately she bore me a daughter.

I had a great job and my wife didn't have to work outside of the house, when my daughter was two she [my wife] bore me a son. My son was the joy of my life, I would walk into his room every morning before I left for work and doted on him and my daughter.

One day while sitting on the couch I noticed that the perspective of the lamp was odd, like inverted. It was still in 3D but... just.. wrong. (It was a square lamp base, red with gold trim on 4 legs and a white square shade). I was transfixed, I couldn't look away from it. I stayed up all night staring at it, the next morning I didn't go to work, something was just not right about that lamp.

I stopped eating, I left the couch only to use the bathroom at first, soon I stopped that too as I wasn't eating or drinking. I stared at the fucking lamp for 3 days before my wife got really worried, she had someone come and try to talk to me, by this time my cognizance was breaking up and my wife was freaking out. She took the kids to her mother's house just before I had my epiphany.... the lamp is not real.... the house is not real, my wife, my kids... none of that is real... the last 10 years of my life are not fucking real!

The lamp started to grow wider and deeper, it was still inverted dimensions, it took up my entire perspective and all I could see was red, I heard voices, screams, all kinds of weird noises and I became aware of pain.... a fucking shit ton of pain... the first words I said were "I'm missing teeth" and opened my eyes. I was laying on my back on the sidewalk surrounded by people that I didn't know, lots were freaking out, I was completely confused.

At some point a cop scooped me up, dragged/walked me across the sidewalk and grass and threw me face down in the back of a cop car, I was still confused.

I was taken to the hospital by the cop (seems he didn't want to wait for the ambulance to arrive) and give CT scans and shit..

I went through about 3 years of horrid depression, I was grieving the loss of my wife and children and dealing with the knowledge that they never existed, I was scared that I was going insane as I would cry myself to sleep hoping I would see her in my dreams. I never have, but sometimes I see my son, usually just a glimpse out of my peripheral vision, he is perpetually 5 years old and I can never hear what he says.

EDIT (24 hours after post): never though anyone would read this, I changed a line so that it no longer seems that my 2 year old daughter bore a child.

I have never seen Inception or the Star Trek episode so many have mentioned (but I will eventually)

I will not do an AMA

I've had many PM's describing similar experiences and 3 posters stating such experiences are impossible, I'd say more research needs to be done on brain functions. Pre-med students, don't assume you know everything.

A few have asked if they can write a book/screen play/stage play/rage comic etcetera, please consider this tale open source and have fun with it

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Haha tha ks buddy. I had already found it in know your meme, but this will help others.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Yes there are several: fauxstalgia or anemoia

Those are fake word invented for the purpose though.

There is also "anticipatory nostalgia", which is about being nostalgic for potential future losses.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

All words were invented for a purpose. When that happens, they’re referred to as a neologism.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Theres nothing fake about them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

The best word I've heard that covers that, is the Portuguese " Saudade "; especially because it's ingrained in the culture ( e.g. Fado) .same for Brazil ofc.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Nope Saudade is just the feeling of nostalgia, for some reason someone convinced foreigners and some Brazilians that it's special or somehow different from nostalgia. And it caught because mostly we don't use nostalgia to refer to people, so in most people's mind they're somewhat different but it's just because of common use. Any phrase that Portuguese uses saudades can be replaced with missing in english without losing any meaning, e.g. Tenho saudades do meu cachorro -> I miss my dog.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

e was asking the exact same question in Portuguese he would ask something among the lines of “what’s the name for saudades of something that happened

Little plus. "Saudade" is like a strong, strong feeling about something you/we miss a lot. Imo, is almost impossible describe Saudade in english. Dont know if other languages has something comparing to Saudade.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

No it's not, saudades means nostalgia, I don't know why people think it's different.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Imo, Saudade is like a strong feeling but/and you can add some variants. Like you said, nostalgia, but you can add sadness and proudness on the context. You arent wrong , but on my pont of view, Saudade is a term which can takes several components.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Let's switch to Portuguese, I don't think anyone else is following this far down on the thread.

Mas essas mesmas variantes podem estar na nostalgia, tristeza e orgulho tbm estão vinculadas com nostalgia. Eu acho que o que acontece eh que a gente esta tao acostumado a usar saudade e tao nao acostumado a usar nostalgia, q soa estranho e diferente, mas eh difícil colocar a diferença em palavras pq na real não tem, eh só um sentimento de que deviam ser diferentes.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Percebo isso. E sim, explicar em inglês torna-se extremamente dificil explicar o que é saudade.

Ainda assim, se olhares para a palavra Saudade e a usares num certo contexto, acho que emprega muitos mais sentimentos que nostalgia. Mas lá está, isto é a forma como vejo a palavra saudade. Provavelmente depende de pessoa para pessoa

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Not once have I heard it in the context of something that didn't happen though

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's possible to be used in that context, same way OP is saying that he feels nostalgic for something that didn't happened. Saudades is a feeling of nostalgia. So if someone was asking the exact same question in Portuguese he would ask something among the lines of "what's the name for saudades of something that happened in a dream"

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

But now we're stuck where we were before, it's no different from nostalgia or longing in that regard where it's not implied that it's something that didn't happen, which I think is what OP wants.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

I agree, Saudades is not the word OP is looking for.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

something that didn't happen though

Maybe because longing for something or someone you knew is also Saudade ofc, and is the more commonly known, like for people close to you. Otherwise " sinto falta de" ( I miss).

Afaik [ Brazil and some Portuguese fiends], you can have Saudade for something that might have happened, something you thought happened, never will happen, or even Saudade for something you don't know ever happened, or without knowing whatever it is, or knowing whatever it is or coming from; like undefined. Like a state of being.

That's also how it's said in the wiki page I linked , a quote:

The Dictionary from the Royal Galician Academy, on the other hand, defines saudade as an "intimate feeling and mood caused by the longing for something absent that is being missed. This can take different aspects, from concrete realities (a loved one, a friend, the motherland, the homeland...) to the mysterious and transcendent.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Not a lifetime, but people. Sometimes the people in my dreams are so real it seems they must be people, separate from me. I am wake up and miss them. I don't know that there is a separate word for that just wanted to say I have the same feelings sometimes.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] -2 points 11 months ago

Transgender. Self deprecating humour, but your subject is a familiar feeling for so many of us :\

[–] [email protected] -4 points 11 months ago