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this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2024
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Asklemmy
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Have you spoken to a therapist about these feelings? Things like depression can make negative thoughts seem much more real and reasonable than they actually are.
I mean, if you’re terminally ill and dying next week I guess it’s possible those are realistic thoughts. But if that’s not the case then that sounds much more like doom spiraling to me.
I will never go to those places. And therapy is for the not poor
Depending on where you live, therapy can be a prescription. And obviously then it doesn't cost you money to go there.
Not really, but apologies. The USA are just one country, after all, chances would be OP is from elsewhere.
OP did, in fact, confirm elsewhere in another comment. Still doesn't guarantee he's from a mental-health friendly nation, but it is kinda crazy that he was indicating that the USA was somehow inherently better for building relationships than other places...
It is. For what is heard girls fuck some random guys in some places there just for funsies. That ISN'T a reality here.
Your true colours and immaturity show. You don't want a relationship, you want to be debaucherous for your own self gratification. You'll never get a girl while appearing to be such a letch. That doesn't mean hide being a letch, but get a relationship for the right reason. Women deserve to be treated with respect, not as some object. And that, buddy, is why you are alone
Incels are exhausting
This is so wildly inappropriate for what Op is struggling with it's unreal.
Whatever your parents did to you to make you think this "tough love" approach is right would be best unpacked with a therapist. Get help.
Piss off with that moralistic shit
Good on you for standing up for yourself - and you've identified something very important, women are not all the same. Keep reminding yourself of that.
Assuming you’re in the US since you mention cost. I know therapy can be really hard to access, especially if you don’t have good insurance and/or aren’t close to an urban area. Your city or county may have mental health services like low cost therapy, or be able to give you referrals for it.
You do seem like you want to talk about it, I’m assuming anyway since you made this post. A good therapist that you vibe with is going to be someone you want to talk to just as much (if not more) than anyone on this post, and they’ll be able to bring up perspectives on your thoughts you hadn’t considered before.
You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to obviously, and if you live in a place with really terrible mental health services there’s not really anything you can do about that. But if the feelings you’re describing in your OP are something that’s upsetting you that you want to change, I’d encourage you to do what you can to try to access therapy.
I don't live there. I'm not American and English is my third language
Ah I see, sorry for the assumption, usually it’s Americans who don’t mention what country they’re in ;)
I'm throwing shots in the dark here, but your English seems very proficient. Is there a possibility that your excellent English skills could be an avenue to making money in your home country? Forgive my ignorance. I can feel your pain through your posts. Just wanna help.
The magic of auto correct. My English is terrible. Still... Puts me above the people here (immigrant in Italy)
I don't know, you seem to be using more advanced vocabulary and word choice in this thread than could be explained just with autocorrect.
Sending love to you brother. I wish I knew the right magic words to say that would help you love yourself like you should. I hope one day you find what you need.
I can even be more articulated and going balls deep in my references on the Shakespearian language. I'm still bad. That still won't get me laid here as a poor brown dude.
Your English is good.
Have you looked in to translation work?
Stop focusing on the finish line, you've barely started.
No, I don't have studies, too dumb and poor for that middle class shit.
I went to college and have worked a middle class job since I was 17. Believe me, being smart has nothing to do with it, I'd say less than five percent of people I've worked with were "smart", the rest are just doing the bare minimum to not get sacked.
What ever you're lacking in knowledge and skills can be made up for by just being keen.
I admit that money does help, unfortunately, the mobility of classes has been in decline for decades now.
Which means I'm fucked.
You don't need to know about specific topics to do translations. Think about it, no one can know everything, right?
Your English is really good. I imagine your Italian is similar, as well as whatever your 3rd language is. You are clearly not dumb.
Have a read of this - https://gengo.com/translators/
Worst case scenario, you're right, you can't do it. So, no different to before, beyond a bit of wasted time. So you might as well have a look, you're not gonna lose anything.