I already know VERY well that I have worse than no interest in sticking everyone's least favourite external genitalia into anything or anyone, and like oral sex is also fucking terrible. I can't really tell how okay I am with treating it like a clit, I guess. I think it's okay...? maybe?

And more generally, would I even mind having it if I could tuck at all? The most common thought I have about anything below the belt is that I need to learn to tuck.

I know it also kind of bugs me that my front is not flat when pressed against a partner, even though pressing it against stuff feels pretty good. Apply pressure. Clit is definitely vastly improved after longterm ESTROGEN WITHERING at least, like low-to-zero sex fluids is cool, but I feel weird and undecided about it I guess.

I have no desire to recieve re: insertive sex, now or ever, and I can't even really picture how that would feel with a vag honestly, bad interroception again. It almost feels weird to imagine myself with different anatomy, but I think that's more because the idea of dramatically altering my body like that is unreal to my brain, since it can't happen yet, y'know.

One of the things that really destroyed my ability to even think about this subject was, again, en bee because as a teen I really wanted bottom surgery due to self hate, and then when I became less of a loser I really wanted it because my micro brain figured I was just supposed to. Removed of all the cisnormative assumptions, though... what do I actually want? How do I feel about the anatomical options available to me??? Idek.

Gee I sure do wish I could just cut my fucking balls off, though! That shit sucks. Do any of you know a good way I can cut my balls out? Hit me with that "diy orchi but you dont die of an infection" knowledge!