askchapo

They're just people

That's what I like to think when it comes to these kinds of matters, but so many people needlessly and toxically make a huge deal out of race when it comes to dating, even though there are many reasonable people who literally just don't give a shit about race in their partners.

As someone in an interracial relationship consisting of me, a black transfem enby, and a white cis woman, there is this common tendency to make race such a big deal in the context of romantic relationships to a point where interracial couples are practically always, in the eyes of somebody, interpreted as some kind of special trope with some underlying dynamic.

On one hand, I understand on some level why POC might get a little iffy if their child starts dating a white person because sometimes those awful dynamics, such as internalized racism, fetishism, etc., do exist in interracial relationships. For most POC who have these qualms about interracial couples, I find that it's not typically rooted in the anti-race-mixing, "genetic purity" fash kinda thought but rather legitimate concerns about oppressive mentalities.

However, the hasty assumption that any interracial couple you see inherently has something problematic going on is really fucking frustrating for me. I have gotten people who would say things built on the assumption that I care about race in my partners, such as "You must not like dating black people, "White women must click best with you," "What race do you prefer to date?" and it's like STOP.

Me and my partner, alongside any other non-black person I've dated, are two people in a relationship, and that's it. We happen to be of different races, yes, but some people I've dated are left-handed, whereas I'm right-handed. Are we going to go crazy over that now too?