48
Donald Trump claims he won't pardon a turkey next Thanksgiving, will shoot it dead on the White House lawn
(hexbear.net)
When asked to elaborate, the president-elect said "These turkeys, they're coming into our country through our unprotected border with Canada, they're not even wild turkeys. These are domestic turkeys, they have homes, they just choose to graze near our homes. I would shoot one dead right now if I could but they won't let me have a gun"
Nobody knows birds like me, it's true! But folks, listen to me, I talk turkey, I live turkey. You got these birds, dirty birds, and they are big too, like no one has ever seen, people come up to me all the time "oh Mr. President, oh Mr. President, how did the turkeys get so big?" I'll tell you why, it's because of me. They know I'll come by and smooch them on the head if they're small, so they grow up big and fat, oh yes they do!