"Gimme the hottest ya got!" screamed the President at a campaign fundraiser in Wilmington, DE hosted by OpenAI and Wells Fargo. When Hexbear News Network's Junior Corespondent MaxOS questioned First Lady Jill Biden on whether the president can handle the level of spice, she responded "It's a trial by fire. We'll have to see..."

Whispers on Capitol Hill today about the capacity Joe Biden to win a rematch against Donald Trump has resulted in a great deal of Democratic donors to back a new candidate for president. Herschel Beahm the Fourth, also known as Dr. Disrespect online, says he gots what it takes to appeal to the youth.

As a game developer and streamer I am technologically literate while my opponents are not. It’s time America elects someone like me to the Oval Office. From miners to minors I look out for this countries most vulnerable communities. I stand against the woke agenda and refuse to be intimidated against.

When asked about his multiple child abuse allegations Mr Beahm got up and left during the interview.

On Thursday, June 27th, incumbent presidential candidate Joe Biden called off the general election debate mere hours before its scheduled time. Donald Trump responded in a Truth Social post, calling the president a "disgraceful coward", among other names.

President Biden plans to reschedule the debate to a "more reasonable hour" and is in talks with CNN to participate via Zoom.

Someone else alr made this joke

The comedian was said to be trying to explain to officers he wanted to fly to Israel and fight Hamas.

"Those damn commies ruined my vacation" Said Samantha Beachem, an American that visited Stonehenge for the summer solstice.

"I feel like I could help a lot of people," says Donaldson. "A lot of people know my face, but don't know my politics."

Donaldson, 31, will be just about be age-eligible to run for president in 2028. Better known by his YouTube persona Mr Beast, Donaldson is best known for his large-scale challenges, ostentatious spending and philanthropy. His YouTube channel currently has 285 million subscribers, making him the most followed individual on YouTube.

"I have a great base to start with - everyone in America already knows who I am and what I'm about. I never could have had my success if I wasn't American - I mean, what other countries would let me deploy people into, like, the wild to survive for a YouTube challenge? But I'm allowed to do that, you know, I'm allowed to find a homeless person on the street and give them a Cybertruck, and I'm allowed to record that and make money off of it. And that's what America is all about, that kind of freedom. You know, it doesn't matter who you are, if you're rich or poor or white or black, anyone is allowed to start a business. Anyone could be like me, you know? I worked hard to earn my money, and I deserved it, and anyone could do that."

Small announcement today folk, due to flagging engagement and morale, the hexbear mods have unanimously agreed to close the c/fakenews comm. After protracted discussions, the admin believe it is best that the comm 'phoenix' (migrate) to the lemmy server sh.itjust.works. we encourage anyone who wants to continue enjoying fakenews highlights like 'jerry sienfeld announces he's dead', 'donald duck steps dow as MLB Ceo' amd 'its official, Whitehouse confirms it's legal to fart in packed elevators now' to make an account on shitjustworks

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"It was just so sudden, one second we're hitting some massive dabs on my new rig then suddenly dad is on the floor, just totally zooted out of his mind", a distraught Hunter told the press.

"I'll be the most fascist president ever, so fuck you, I LOVE Israel" he said in an interview with CNN's Jake Tapper.

Hunter is set to receive the coveted award for "bravery and sacrifice putting the rizz on a smokeshow hottie while hitting the crack pipe 250 times in one hour in a hotel room."

to our requests for comment. More as the situation develops.

According to a poll conducted by Scientifically Rich, a for-profit research group based in Arizona, America's most productive earners believe the average American's finances are better than ever.

"The thing is- you see- the thing- it's- so these most productive earners they're- you can really tell they know their stuff!" Josh Grawnish, a researcher from the prestigious for-profit told Hexbear News Network.

"Their views on these issues are going to be more accurate than the average American's views, because they're hungrier, thirstier, bigger, wetter, and so on." His wife explained. "Sorry, Josh gets nervous in front of all these cameras." she continued.

"The average American believes their financial situation has been degrading in recent years. But thanks to Josh's new study we can see that isn't actually true." Mr. Grawnish's wife further elaborated.

This is great news for Americans, who are more frequently reporting difficulties purchasing essential items like groceries.