You are allowed to do what you want with your body. You are allowed to live for you. You are allowed to undergo horomone replacement therapy. It is going to be one of the most wonderful things you'll ever do, and you'll be doing it for yourself.

You'll thank yourself later for starting now, the bodily changes come slowly but the psychological effects can be felt as soon as a week after starting. When I began spiro in my early 20s it felt like something else had gone and I could think clearly for the first time since I was a child. Estrogen came later and added an element of emotional depth that I didn't know I was missing. A lot of the others claim similar things.

Regarding insurance: most will cover it and if you get your perscription through a Planned Parenthood or other gender affirming care clinic they absolutely will advocate for you to the insurance company. Worst comes to worst, in the grand scheme of things estrogen and spiro tend to be pretty cheap in terms of drugs so the worst case scenario isn't that bad all things considered.

You are a stranger to me, but I am very excited for you and wish you the best of luck on this journey. There is one more thing I like to tell people when they're starting out. It really does progress at a glacial pace. It's frustrating, especially in the first year or so, really frustrating. Your body will change little by little and at times it's going to feel like nothing is changing. One day, out of nowhere, you will look in the mirror, you'll see her for the first time and she'll be smiling back at you. It's going to happen, I promise.