askchapo

did you guys hear something

Yeah I think it's about me wishing I could just be a passive observer and not have any obligations (could be related to pathological demand avoidance/autism).

When I think about life after death, I think my "heaven" would be just me existing as a formless consciousness that can float around wherever I feel like, observing things around the world, or even around the galaxy/universe.

Sometimes I really want to be perceived but only in those moments and only by specific people. Otherwise yes it would be great if I could just pass through the world doing my thing enjoying it without needing anyone else to recognize my existence that would be great thank you.

I saw an article lately that there were not enough lighthouse keepers for remote islands and I pondered for a bit if I should drop everything and apply.

Constantly masking is so exhausting, especially when most environments are so stressful to me. Just let me do my weird fidgets and self-talk in peace.

I think this is a trauma reaction to having a history of being seen negatively and feeling an inability to be seen any other way. Source: me too, I just try to not be in my head about it.

Go to Japan. Apparently it is considered rude to look at people so people all go around not looking at each other. You’ll never feel more alone!

I personally wish I could just be a brain in a jar. I don't want a body or food or interaction. I just want to think.

I feel that, I want to do calisthenics in the park nearby, or learn how to rollerblade, but I hate being that conspicuous.

I think I'd feel less awkward living in a bigger city where I can disappear into crowds.

Literally me fr fr. Not just as a physical entity, but as a conscious being with a discernible personality.

me

i want to wear pretty clothes, but i also hate standing out. if i could wear pretty clothes and no one could perceive me that'd be so ideal

I aim to become the literal spectre of communism. I will haunt Europe so hard, I stg

I wish I was perceived more. I wish I was a gorgeous 6'6" supermodel who turned heads everywhere I went.

The vibe

Antisocial behavior is reactionary. I blame your desire to not be seen on capitalist society. I believe you would not have these feelings if you were in a better environment.

I feel so seen...

Sorta kinda. I’ve learned that people tend to freak when I say “I don’t want to be perceived” (actually landed me in a mental hospital as a teen 😀) but yeah I don’t like that people can form opinions about me and I’ve sorta operated that “I” don’t exist in the same way as the people around me for the longest time

The only work around I’ve found but that comes with other issues 😎😎😎

I love being the center of attention. I love making an entrance. I also have a social battery that only lasts 2 hours and afterward the only interaction I want is snuggles. (or sex)

Honestly, no... wtf... you know how DPRK feels like before and after the Eastern Bloc collapsed... that's what I felt like, during Primary school with friends vs High School, without much friends...

I've already had enough of such experiences you talk about, but I mean, you could try.... it's easy to do, in my opinion

To be not perceived and just phase out of existence for a while is fine, but to avoid others in order to seek it out seems troubling...

...i found a book call how to be invisible...

A lot of the time, yes. But also I want positive attention a lot. Really, if I'm out in public, the chances of attention being positive is pretty low, so I'm very anxious about it.

Hearing my name makes my skin crawl.

Yeah. I hate my neurodivergence and introversion being hard to relate to because I'm an alien to eveyone. I'm tired. Decades of the same shit. No matter the job. I'm not going to be perky go clucky whe. i have no reason to. I don't interact with customers most of the time. When I do I'm wonderful to them. I live virtually alone. I work alone. I love being in my own little headspace instead of frat boying it up. Sorry that doesn't look like a damned perfectly perked Ken doll every microsecond.

I tried this last review to plead to work only the off shifts if some people have an issue with me so I don't keep having this so called perception issue. Yeah you'll need to have more people which you won't do anyways. Do I do my job? Yes? Then we're good here.

Leave me alone.

I enjoy having interesting conversations and such, but most of the time I would probably be fine with not being noticed by strangers at all. I think this is partly why I sort of enjoy navigating through crowds, I'm barely perceived by others for the short time I am in their vicinity.

I think another aspect is the conspicuous nature of identity. I generally don't feel like announcing details about myself to others in that way. I find more value in watching how people act then evaluating how they look if that makes sense.

Literally thought about myself as "relentlessly perceived" this very morning

Last time i went to the beach, i went for a walk around 3 AM while there was a full moon - it was like I'd stepped into an alternate dimension where i was the only person alive, even the beach cops had stopped patrolling. I wish i could slip into full-moon night-beach world on-demand.

Oh I know of that longing and while I can't tell you it's the same thing, being a woman over forty kinda feels like that.

Sometimes, like being ignored at the doctor's office,I don't like it so much,but most of the time it's such a relief not being noticed at all!