this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Why is this necessary? Ukraine is winning and killing 500,000 ruzzianZ a day. If anything Putler should be gooning his soldiers, not Zelensky

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Ummm???

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2022/12/28/russian-troops-sent-to-ukraine-entitled-to-sperm-freezing-media

Actually, all of this shit is old news, now, apparently, Uke's been doin' it at Feb 2023, just recently afterwards...

[–] [email protected] 44 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Also the whole 'The gene seed must be preserved at all costs' thing

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (3 children)

It's disgusting. Literally this is the first time in human history that this is happening. Like how do they even store it?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

They just freeze the sperm in samples I guess...

I mean, anything is on the table right now, for all I know... that's life... squidward-nervous

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Imagine the pornos that will come out this. It's gonna be like that one scene in The Boys where Hughie is at soldier boy's place while that "weird" video about his character is playing

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

Especially weird when you're basically genetically indistinguishable from the "asiatic horde" invading you.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Why are fascists always obsessed with semen?

[–] [email protected] 34 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Birthrates, mythologised blood, cheap labour

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Blood and soil ideology and practice, egh....

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

Blood, soil and semen.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago

Sebum retention, mostly

[–] [email protected] 35 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Reporting for duty, I've prepared for this my entire life. fidel-salute-big

[–] [email protected] 32 points 8 months ago (2 children)

The brave soldier running into the battle field to collect his fallen comrade's cum like peppino-run

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Why do I get a feeling someone is going to make a warhammer comparison

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"Did the apothecary recover the battle brothers geneseed?"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

Aye, along those lines. Goes well with the NAFO fucks treating those nazis as some kinda supersoldiers, "yeeting a gazillion orks each minute".

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Make one comrade. You know you want to.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Not sure if support, where's your bike?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

The year is 2045, the Great European Water Wars between the various european ethnostates are raging for nearly a decade now.

Field medics aren't equipped with any first aid kids, only with a castration device with a built in freezing unit so they can extract as much white cum from their fallen comrades. The captive brood wives are already waiting to be inseminated with warrior cum in the fertility clinics.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 8 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Azov milk maiden Valkyries are on the horizon... lathe-of-heaven

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Red Army soldier (1922–1942)

rat-salute-2

[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago

Your volcel pledge doesn't end upon death, citizen volcel-judge

[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Who remembers Semen Hitler

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

The only good Hitler

[–] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago

:skeleton-guns-akimbo:you want my genes? cum and take it:skeleton-guns-akimbo:

[–] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago

Another battalion down, calling Code White, alert Cum Patrol!

[–] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Imagine sprinting directly into a the aftermath of a russian artillery strike to jack off a corpse lol.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Wait, wasn't this old news already?

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/16/world/europe/ukraine-soldiers-freeze-sperm.html

April 16, 2023

Motherfucker, why didn't more people make jokes about this before?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

That probably didn't have enough sign ups so this one will be used on people regardless of consent because Ukraine needs to artificially raise their population after war.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago

Oh shit! Oh Fuck! Nobody tell Xi! I'm already behind schedule!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago

Why did they need legislation to let that happen? Did they have to create an exemption for a certain type of necrophilia? thinking-about-it

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago

Oh no, can't believe Anthony Padilla would join the Ukrainian military and the smosh crew would give him a lil Hitler stache to blend in. Truly the darkest timeline. My condolences to the smosh team, I hope they found all his fleshy bits so they can cryogenically freeze him and fix him in the far future so we can see him and Ian get married. kitty-cri

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago

right after i read that headline in spooky voice i heard "wwoOOoooOoOooooo" hexbear-specter

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Lmao Semen is a popular name in Ukraine.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I heard somewhere that Semen (the name) is basically a weird bastardization of Simon and also sort of freely translated from something that more closely resembles Semion. My source is whatever person on here that told me to stop laughing at Semen Hitler, who fought valiantly for the Red Army against the Nazis, since the only way to get his name was through some lingustic shennanigans.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Yes, it's version of Simon, and one of the more popular eastern Slavic names and as such have tons of versions. There is also old Polish word semen, meaning cossack in the court service - there were thousands of them so it might be how that particular version came to be - from the joining of name Simeon (Семён) and the occupation of court cossack.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

Just ethnofascist things. jagoff

One man stood up to a dictator (and banned opposition parties, hijacked the media, and banned entire religous sects ) (also trying to stay beyond his term morshupls but the Ukrainian constiution doesn't allow for elections under martial law - how convenient much democracy) (also not a dictator) farquaad-point

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"Semens" stock is about to soar! BUY NOW! stonks-up

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

you fool! They're merely increasing the total supply available! The demand remains the same! semen stocks are going down!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

lathe-of-heaven

In order to replenish the Nazi hoardes women will be given houses and be career Ayran cracker factories.

Future generations of Ukrainians will then have a problem with inbreeding and an entire giggity sub DNA industry to ensure ~~least~~ optimal amout of inbreeding of the master race.

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