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periodic tablets (mander.xyz)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 124 points 3 months ago

I'd be more suspicious of a person coming to my door purely just to educate me on cool science things. I wouldn't be able to shake the feeling that he's trying to sell me something.

At least with religion I know their game and I know I'm not interested but science that's interesting.

[-] [email protected] 69 points 3 months ago

They spend an hour talking about the possibility of life on Venus then they whip out the vacuum cleaner

[-] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago

Better than a set of steak knives. Because that conversation goes very differently.

[-] [email protected] 45 points 3 months ago

listen, you know you want that encyclopedia. imgaine how good it would look. women will swoon at your big books. you know what big books mean.

[-] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago

A man who has big books... has a big... bookshelf.

[-] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

and big brains, thats right.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

They sing a song about the vastness of space and then they start harvesting your organs.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

Did somebody say...organs...

[-] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

That's how vampires get in the door. Don’t fall for it.

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

I'd be more suspicious of them telling me life exists on Venus, specifically. Last I heard it was a hot-ass gaseous atmosphere made of acid. My money is still on Europa.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

Boy, have I got news for you!


/j

[-] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

I'd be hella suspicious untill he left while not selling me anything

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[-] [email protected] 74 points 3 months ago

Have you found the scientific method.

[-] [email protected] 54 points 3 months ago

I think so, but let's test it just to be sure.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago

Certainty I can’t help you with, but statistical confidence let’s go.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

Good observation - I'll include that in my notes and come back later with a finer-tuned hypothesis!

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[-] [email protected] 44 points 3 months ago

If I ever win a lottery I'm legit going to pay someone to do this.

[-] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Man you don't need to win the lottery. I'll do it for a moderate fee.

[-] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago

Great! But I need to win the lottery in order to be able to pay your moderate fee.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Thats why this would never happen. The religious people do it for free or they even pay their organisation.

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[-] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago

Wouldnt happen. Scientists are too in love with the possibility they are wrong. Little room for evangelism

[-] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

Only because they often are... which is what makes science so great. If everything was thought to be correct, what good would testing and new discovery be? The fact that scientists have historically been wrong drives scientists to prove other scientists wrong.

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[-] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago

"Is life on Venus coming to kill us?"

"Oh, no, these are microorganis-"

Shuts door

[-] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

Right, please tell me. Is this just a meme thing or do people actually knock on other people's doors to try to convert them to their religion?

And does this only happen, bizarrely, in the country with the highest number of gun-owning cowards?

It just seems such an odd combination

[-] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago

Jehovas witnesses knocking on doors is an absolutely known thing in Germany.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)
[-] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

And in Sweden.

Fun fact, their meeting places, "Kingdom hall"s are translated "Rikets Sal". On more than one occasion the letters in their signs have been rearranged over night to "skitarsle", roughly "poopybutt" :D

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[-] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

Ever heard of Jehovah's witnesses? Or Mormons going on their mission? They aren't constant here, but they are definitely a thing in the Netherlands.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It does. It got to the point I explained the concept of trial by combat to them, and said if they really believed, they would fight me-me armed them not.

Never worked.

So I got a grab bag of cheap sex toys to keep by the door the moment I got my first place (was homeless when I turned 18) and 'would you like to talk about Jesus' became 'trick or treat'.

That worked.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Nope. I'm in Canada and it happens here too.

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[-] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I’ve found the fastest ways to get religious folk that knock on my door to scurry in a hurry is:

  1. offer to listen as long as they like but only after they roast a bowl with you
  2. tell them to pay their fucking taxes

Now if science folk came knockin that would be great over a roasted bowl as well

[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago
[-] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Smoke marijuana in a bong or pipe

The bowl being the part of the bong or pipe that holds the marijuana

[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Ah... Thanks for the info, kind stranger

[-] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

It's Saturday morning where I am so I imagine a lot of us are "roasting bowls" lol.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

https://www.theguardian.com/science/1999/aug/24/spaceexploration

"I [Carl Sagan] can remember one occasion, taking a shower with my wife while high, in which I had an idea on the origins and invalidities of racism in terms of gaussian distribution curves," wrote the former Cornell University professor. "I wrote the curves in soap on the shower wall, and went to write the idea down."

[-] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

Yes. Yes I would, come in, come in!

[-] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Yeah, uhh, come in, how'd you know I was a space nerd? Would you also like to scope out my house to rob it later? That's fine too, as long as you tell me about this cool space fact.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

Instructions unclear, we now have door to door scientologists instead

[-] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Pretty sure I'm allowed to shoot those in this state.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

I'd have so many questions. In a good way. They wouldn't have time to visit anyone else that day.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

Phosphine

"No thanks. I don't believe in Greek goddesses."

[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

i wonder what has happened that enabled or hindered science to not become evangelical

[-] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

What do you think it would it look like if it did?

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[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

This idea made my pp hard

[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago
[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

I would do that... but a bit of linux evangelism would slip in as well 😹

[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago
[-] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

"please, just leave me alone"

[-] Eyck_of_denesle 4 points 3 months ago

Is there any possibility of life in the atmosphere venus?

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this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2024
1143 points (98.7% liked)

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