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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Specifically because I live in a hot climate, I'm always fighting the feeling of being suspicious of anybody I pass in the streets with a hoodie pulled up. I feel guilty because of racial profiling associated with hoodies, but gotta protect myself and my family, especially because in many cases the perpetrators of assault and murder seen in media are somebody with a hood and/or mask on.

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[-] [email protected] 53 points 1 month ago

I wear a hoodie most of the time. I don't mind if you feel suspicious of me; one reason I have a hood up is because I don't want to engage with random people. Sounds like you would go out of your way to avoid me so mission accomplished.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

that's a great point!

[-] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago

Of course not. I am the guy in long coat, hoodie or toque, big black boots, and face mask.

Crime rates have dropped massively, you're being driven into a panic by pro-police, racist media manipulation.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Also by walking and breathing fast. I’ve been able to reduce my own anxiety quite a bit by forcing myself to walk and breathe more slowly.

We have a cultural acceleration of both of these body rhythms, and it’s part of the feedback loop that’s degrading our mental health.

The best part is, despite being difficult it is very possible to take control of these things. It improves our own mental health, gives other people’s brains more time to evaluate us before having to make a fight/chill decision. And when our own anxiety levels decrease, our voices get less hostile.

We’re all in this big soup of feelings together, and the whole soup is getting more anxious.

In my own experience working to slow myself down, it really takes a lot of attention and effort to alter these things that mostly run unconsciously, but the payoff is almost immediate.

I remember the first day I decided to walk slowly it was so fucking hard. I had to imagine pushing backward in my feet. It actually kind of hurt in a weird abstract way. But within ten or twenty minutes of that, muscles were relaxing around my chest and neck. Another fifteen minutes later, and I was admiring the beauty of everything around me, actually looking up for the first time in years and seeing buildings and trees I’d never noticed before.

Breathing slow, and walking slow. You can practice them one at a time, or combine them.

The more time spent applying attention and effort, the more effect. And the effects are incredible.

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[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

I always think of that scene from Hot Fuzz where they’re talking about why someone wore a hat low on their face.

“Because he’s fuck ugly?”

“Or he has something to hide.”

Both can exist and I try to keep that in mind. Someone wearing something covering their identity either is cold or doesn’t want to engage with people. If the latter, there’s a slim chance they pose a threat, or they have their own reasons that are no concern of mine.

I note these people more than if they weren’t covered, but I don’t really change my behaviours in normal situations.

You’re not doing anything wrong. A hoodie is a yellow flag without more information. Keep doing what you’re doing.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

haha that's fair. totally understand wanting to cover up, but especially where I live and during this warm time of year, it's suspicious. i think that's a good way to describe my feelings. it's a yellow flag. i'm not reaching in my pocket for a knife, but i'm on guard.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I think you can be aware or possibly even "wary" if you see that, but I think it is a little absurd to let that become actual worry or suspicion.

Just be aware of your surroundings. Clock the person in a hoodie, make a mental note of it, and continue on your way. I feel like this is "how to live in a modern city 101." If you get this thrown by seeing someone in a hoodie, then maybe you're too anxious to be around that many people

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I have cancer and I still wear a face mask everywhere due to a compromised immune system.

I also get very cold with my disease/medications. My blood circulation isn't as good now. I can be chilled when its 77 in a room without a sweatshirt. My hoodies aren't black but they are dark blues and greens.

Further, I have serious skin issues and always have that lead me to keep my hair always cropped very, very short. Meaning when I am chilled like that, I often have the hood up.

I am not here to make judgment on your position but rather just a reminder of valid reasons things like this might happen that don't involve others meaning you bodily harm.

I am a big guy, and sometimes it feels a little tiring to have the default be everyone is scared of me despite my inability to defend myself before I had cancer. I don't own guns or knives and my backpack is either full of groceries or PC maintenance equipment.

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[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

So, I was given some advice for situations like this that changed my life.

The first thing that comes to mind in these moments isn't what matters. It's what a life time of indoctrinated racism/classism/sexism etc looks like. The thing that comes to mind here isn't necessarily what you think, it's what you've been taught to think,

What matters is what you do next, after the thought has popped in to your mind.

I was raised in a very racist environment, and I struggled with feeling guilt every time some racist thought I'd been trained with popped in to my head, because that's not the person I want to be. Reframing it like this allowed me to stop getting hung up on the guilt part, and work on the part that actually means something

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

One time I was walking through a city centre after midnight after drinks with friends - who told me to get a taxi because it's so dangerous. I got to a pedestrianised street and there at the orher end was a group of tough-looking POC in hoodies. Uh oh. There seemed to be an argument in progress. Uh oh. I carried on though, to avoid a long detour. As I got nearer I caught the drift of the argument. "We're only telling you this because we love you, mate." Muffled sobbing. "Yeah, we worry about you! We want you to be happy!" It was teens in the midst of a full-on psychodrama, actually quite wholesome. I carried on home, berating myself for racial profiling. For a non-event it had quite a profound effect on my thinking.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

And these are the kinds of interactions that people have in cities that terrify conservatives. Not the situation you described (although they'd be scared of that too), but the lesson you took away from it.

Just being around people that look, sound, behave, have customs, etc., different than you changes the way you view the world in fundamental ways. You may not even realize it is happening.

And most importantly, it makes everyone less afraid of one another. And this is how conservatives lose their power.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Well what I do next is keep them in my line of sight and avoid them. I’m not suspicious of their race, I’m suspicious of their clothes. If they happen to be a POC though, there is more guilt involved.

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[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

You can't trust what you can't see.

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[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

I feel like most of the time, people wearing a hoodie (w the hood on), don't want to be interacted with, nor do they wish to interact with others. At least that's how I feel. No need to feel bad a out it.

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

What does the color of the hoodie have to do with anything? 🤨

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

In a hot climate, a black hoodie is going to be less likely a casual outfit than a lighter coloured hoodie

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I think it's fair to be nervous around people who conspicuously hide their identity. I've been mugged twice and in neither case did the person walk up to me and introduce themselves first. There's nothing wrong with giving people hiding their features a wide berth up to crossing the street, especially late at night. People who are just wearing what's comfortable will keep on going without interactions but if someone changes course to intercept you - especially hurrying to come up behind you - it's not at all racist to react defensively, it's just rational.

People can wear what they want, I will judge them (sort of) if they are obscuring their features but I do understand there are a lot of reasons for doing so (including not wanting a negative interaction yourself). I've had busty friends that adore their hoodies because it lets them avoid unwanted attention and cat calling - but it's equally fair to be concerned that someone obscuring their identity has a malicious intent.

Just like, be informed by attire but don't pass permanent judgement - and if you get mugged because you're helping someone that looks like they're in distress (points to self) it's okay - even if it fucking sucks you made the right decision.

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

So I was at a convention that happened to be next to a horror convention. Someone from the horror convention decided to come to our convention in a pastel overalls outfit with bunny mask and lavender wig. Some of us were afraid of joining his basement convention afterparty.

I guess this is kind of how you were feeling.

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

As a pale skinned ginger who will get second degree burns if I'm not careful outside I'm often covered up despite temperatures approaching 100F.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Where I live, people of all degrees of peace come in all colors of hoodies and hood positions. More often than not, the people here who give a hard time just present themselves like everyone else. If I saw someone with a black hoodie with the hood up, I'd be more worried about them being Death.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I dunno about that. If I saw a man with a white hood that completely covers his face with little eyeholes, I'm out. Because chances are, that dude has a flaming cross somewhere.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Hah! What you do if you see Death coming your way?

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[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

What colour hoodies are you known to wear?

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[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

This whole thread is just one great big self-flagellatory self-report session innit

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[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Eh, depends on circumstances.

Then again my PTSD keeps my head on swivel all the time, so I'm suspicious of five year olds that move too fast. Someone in a hoodie in warm weather? Nah, no guilt about scanning them at all

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

haha you're like my dog. kids move too erratically sometimes for him.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

You're unintentionally hilarious. This is great.

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[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I'm suspicious of myself (or at least self-conscious) when I wear a black hoodie with the hood up...

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[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Just to comment on a specific part of your question, there's probably some selection bias to seeing more criminals in the media masked/with their hood up.

Particularly in the case of notices requesting that someone be IDed, if their face is clearly visible and in good resolution, they may not need to publicize it to have the person identified (pretty sure they can search by face in correctional/dmv databases) vs if part of their face is obscured or the only visible marker of identity is something like a tattoo or scar, they might need to publicize it more to find someone who will be able to identify the person based on that limited info.

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[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Being suspicious of people in hoodies isn't racist 🙄 if you only got nervous around black people in hoodies, then sure, but there's nothing wrong with being cautious of people who are concealing their identity. They might not be wearing it for that reason, but that's still something it does.

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[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I don't feel guilty. It's fair to be suspicious of someone who covers their face without context like cold weather or a medical mask (could be sick or concerned about getting sick). The trick or test is to ask yourself "Do I/would I become equally concerned if this person was in a different racial category?" If the answer is "No", de-escalate yourself. If the answer is "No", look for the other markers that are actually setting off alarms for you. It's not just covering the face. As others have pointed out there can be a variety of harmless reasons why people might do that. But look for how a person carries themself: where they keep their hands how they move their eyes. Or maybe you are just paranoid about hoodies in general, in which case you should try to develop a more holistic way of sizing people up.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 4 weeks ago

Im suspicious of nobody unless they give me a reason to be.

Someone could put on a suit to murder you my guy. Don’t lump everyone under one umbrella.

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this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2024
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