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submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

A California company is advertising ‘tactical response’ Tesla Cybertruck upgrades for police cruisers, including shotgun racks and sirens.

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[-] [email protected] 230 points 1 month ago

I will laugh my ass off when this thing breaks down and catches on fire during their "tactical response" after someone throws a water bottle at it.

[-] [email protected] 71 points 1 month ago

I'm going to laugh my ass off when someone figures out how to track them all in real time, and shares it on a publicly accessible website.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

The first casualty of those battery fires is probably going to be someone handcuffed and locked in the back seat.

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[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

I hope they explode

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[-] [email protected] 131 points 1 month ago

With the all-wheel drive Cybertruck’s current $79,990 price, it stands to reason the combined taxpayer cost for a vehicle and new UP.FIT features could easily top $90,000. <

I'd be pretty upset if my municipality was set to dump 100k on this trash.

[-] [email protected] 73 points 1 month ago

Imagine thinking they will only buy one.

[-] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

if they're anything like the ICE cruisers... they're dropping another shitload in up grades. custom-built gun vaults, as well as other specially-built storage .... first aid, extra handcuffs. leg cuffs. Kiddie cuffs. flex-cuffs. evidence collection. Road safety stuffs. Flashlights. speed radar thingies. rolls of printer paper for citation printers. Cameras. spare uniforms. Condoms for the badgebunnies. extra batteries for radios. extra batteries for flashlights. batteries for cameras. extra uniforms. all sorts of bullshit paperwork and forms that only get filled out when they come a cross a karen. Door breaching and lock out tools

needless to say, cops keep a lot of junk in the trunk. So much so the cop's version of the ford explorer ("Police Interceptor Utility") actually only has a special suspension to handle the extra weight, and 2 rows of seating instead of 3 to accommodate the entirely-custom storage rack.

oh. you thought they were talking about body armor... naw. They get APC's for that.

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

What else do you expect local governments to spend the opiate settlement money on, rehabilitation?

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[-] [email protected] 90 points 1 month ago

“You’re under a rust!”

[-] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago

STOP! In the name of Elon!

[-] [email protected] 81 points 1 month ago

Not sure that's a great idea given that prisoners can simply escape using the gaps in the doors

[-] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago

Worry not. The automatic doors will crush all their fingers and toes first.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Has anyone tried sticking their d*ck in yet? One of these clowns is bound to, if not. I just don't want to miss it.

[-] [email protected] 72 points 1 month ago

So another tax payer handout to Musk?

Man, he is THE welfare Queen

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[-] [email protected] 66 points 1 month ago

does crime in a rain storm or up a sandy incline

The cops:

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

On a related note how come criminals in Gotham City don't just do crime during the day time?

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[-] [email protected] 47 points 1 month ago

911: "Sorry, it's raining "

[-] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago

lol. Cool, cop cars that are weak to flipper zeros.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

The cyberpunk futures we all anticipated.

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[-] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago

I cant wait to see a cop fail to catch some Redneck driving the king of all shitboxes because the cop is driving a cybertruck and its litely drizzling outside.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

"Call off the chase, suspect drove onto sand."

[-] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago

I feel there's a great intersection of cops and those people who still buy into Elon's bullshit. It couldn't be any other way.

[-] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago

Looking forward to seeing a lot of cops missing fingers

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

I personally welcome this new fleet of self-igniting cop cars. It's such a time saver!

[-] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Any department that actually buys one of these turkeys is going to be very unhappy about the maintenance costs. Can't park under trees, can't let it get rained on, and if you're in a medium-speed accident, the lack of crumple zone will injure your officers at higher rates.

[-] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago

Can't park under trees

Well if we’re being fair, that’s a bad idea for all cop cars. Trees might drop very hostile acorns, forcing the officer to unload his gun.

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[-] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago

Sweet! Outrunning the cops will be super easy if they start using these pieces of shit!

[-] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

Bit of background on police cars. Mechanically, they're not made to be especially fast, nor necessarily accelerate very quickly, nor handle particularly well. The police package modifications have more to do with endurance. A cop car isn't going to do 180MPH, but it's going to be able to do 110 for way longer than a regular production vehicle. A alot of that comes down to extra cooling: engine, transmission, power steering. Cop cars have steel wheels because they bend instead of shattering, and you can still drive on a bent wheel that holds air.

Does the Cybertruck scream "reliable and high endurance"?

Police vehicles also need to be generally multipurpose, to carry weapons, first aid, other gear, and detainees as necessary. This means they need to have enough room in the back seat for a partition, and accessible cargo space so that any particular thing can be quickly accessed. I can't speak to the back seat of a Cybertruck, but that silly body line at the front of the bed makes a huge part of its cargo space useless. If you want to access stuff that's up there, you're going to have to climb in the back and crawl over everything, or unload a bunch of shit that's in the way, like me looking for the fucking mayonaisse in my refrigerator after my wife has jammed it way too full of other shit. Maybe a Cybertruck could stand in for a State Police car that runs the interstates instead of a Dodge Charger. Maybe.

Ever noticed how lots of police departments label their cars in very low contrast lettering? That's so they can blend into traffic without being instantly noticeable as a police car. I think it's obvious what I'm pointing out here.

I also don't think that a pure electric vehicle would ever be used for actual police work. Having to stick it on a charger for an hour, at least once a day, takes the vehicle and its driver out of service for much longer than just filling up a gas tank. Yeah, you might be able to coordinate the charging with "paperwork time," but it's still something worth considering.

tl;dr: The Cybertruck is the worst police vehicle any department could ever choose.

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[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Particularly given that the design quality houses a whole slew of critically bad design choices.

Like shock absorber brackets and axel mounts that can't handle simple offroad loads.

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[-] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago

Surely with their budgets and current level of militarisation, US police departments could afford real APCs/light infantry vehicles rather than this mall-ninja tacticool cosplay garbage.

[-] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago

They already do.

This is a pseudo kickback, something to fluff elons ego

[-] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

Looks like its a good time to be a criminal

[-] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

I'd be more worried if they switched to old white tacomas. switch to persistent car chases. Never speeding, just following along waiting for you to run out of fuel. Oh you going off road? That huge dent on the roof is when it rolled over back in '03. I got 2 jerry cans my partner can pour while still driving.

[-] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

And so it begins, a billionaire owning the police. Smart move Musk, smart move.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

You're gonna be shocked when you learn that the current cop cars are also made by billionaires

[-] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

I am just sitting here looking at all you people upset about government waste and thinking about the crap I see every day working for a company that is primarily a government contractor. The river of dirty money.

Just this week alone, and this is Thursday, I told a state employee PE that his spec calls for a part no longer manufactured and if he doesn't update his spec he is going to get whatever I find on eBay and he said he doesn't care. Tens of millions of dollars project and this guy is having me put in used parts on a new system.

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[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

This could be a huge money save. Might cost the city less if they simply bisect pedestrians in police chases instead of paralysing them from the waist down.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

get ready to be nailed by stuck at 100% throttle hunk of low grade stainless on wheels, on taxpayer dollar. pray that it rains and you may live.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

why? that graffiti or scratch is just gonna rust off in a day or two

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[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

I hope these skyrocket in popularity. Because I love Elon Musk! Yeah! Definitely! That's right! That's absolutely the reason! No others!

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The taxpayers should sue for misuse/abuse of funds if any of these get bought by or for police departments. They don't need every expensive toy they set their eyes on.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

"We have an officer down! He closed his door and now he's bleeding out." reference

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this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2024
299 points (97.2% liked)

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