this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[โ€“] [email protected] 61 points 2 months ago (3 children)

"Mom, I'm not hungry!" "Honey, I can see you're hard. Just eat it."

[โ€“] [email protected] 37 points 2 months ago

How do I delete someone else's comment?

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Yep, that's definitely porn.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Weird Al's Eat It is even weirder than I remember

[โ€“] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Well, if they only got hard when we were actually hungry, and not just "bored hungry", I assume the market for crunchy snack foods wouldn't be as prominent.

[โ€“] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Pfft as if we wouldn't have come out with a Viagra for teeth LMAO

[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Well, this is horrifying. Just the thought of old men before Tooth Viagra comes out just trying to eat chips with their knobbly wobbly teeth.

[โ€“] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago

There would be no change because I am always hungry.

[โ€“] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Blowjobs would be even more enjoyable and have less risk of harm

[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wouldn't this mean every blowjob would have to be on a full stomach?

If they get hungry while going down, do the teeth inflate like a balloon or, click up like a switch blade?

[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Does ur dick click up like a switchblade???

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Found the spitter...

[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

Doesn't saliva production increase in anticipation of food? Kinda like...

[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

My teeth retract into my gums until I get hungry.

Yours don't?

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

mine retract when i go to the swimming pool

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Shrinkage, SHRINKAGE!!!

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Only my fangs.

[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I can't decide if I love or hate this idea.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Let me help you with an additional rule: horny and hungry hardening shall be coupled and only occur together or not at all.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

"We're eating out for dinner tonight"

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

This calls for a pastrami sandwich.

[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Milkshakes would be a larger percentage of fast food sales.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Mcdonald's would be out of business then.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It could be kinda nice to run your tongue over your squishy, deflated teeth between meals.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And cleaning them might involve some sort of tooth sucker device to suck them clean between meals for all the hard to reach places.

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

I'm gonna go suck my wife's teeth and see what her reaction is

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Then I would be hard all the time in more ways than one.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Hey it still counts.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That is very relevant and hilarious ๐Ÿ˜

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I love Nigel and marmalade so much. I didn't think I'd like it at first, but it's my favorite shorts series

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If it's one to one how we get erect normally, and as the human body essentially inflates using blood, your teeth would ultimately be blood sponges. Seems impractical.

Of course, take it a step farther and maybe physiologically the blood hardens to a sharp point. I know some fantasy settings where bloodstone is a thing, so I guess that. If it was possible, it'd look sick as fuck.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Or maybe our teeth retract using that as a mechanism?